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Static Impulse
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 63
Location: Right next to you, Altheripper...
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 Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:46 pm Post subject: Post descriptions you think are good. |
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| Thought I'd start a post for descriptions. I know that one of my favorite things about making a new character is writing the desc. so if you think you have a good one post it here. I'll get a few of mine as soon as I find out where I saved them... or bother to log on and get them. You can even vote on which ones you like the best when they're done if you want. |
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_Clifton_
Emissary
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 1405
Location: your and you're are not the same. they're, there, and their are not the same. learn to english.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:39 am Post subject: |
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Okay, .. I'll post a few of my recent ones.
Huotoyoxi - Male
| Code: |
A slender and slim drow stands stealthly in the shadows. A gross and enigmatic
smile is spread across his face revealing a set of perfectly aligned, blinding
bright, white and pearly teeth. Dark, alluring, enchanting eyes search the
surrounding areas with a calm purpose. Momentarily, they stop, as if seeing
what they want, but just as abruptly, they continue about their way. Long blonde
hair runs to the bottom of his neck. The sun reflects radiantly off the smooth
and silky surface of the Cuticle. His tanned skin, almost closer to the color
of onyx, is decorated with assorted tattoos. A darkly colored red rose
entwined within its stem rests upon his left bicep. On the other arm, a golden
heart is enclosed rising sun on his wrist. In his back pocket lies a single
black flower, still alive and undaunted by its own disconnected. Alluring and
charming, he slithers back into hiding. |
Huotoyoxi - Female
| Code: |
A slender and slim drow stands stealthily in the shadows. A gross and enigmatic
smile is spread across her face revealing a set of perfectly aligned, blinding
bright, white and pearly teeth. Dark, alluring, enchanting eyes search the
surrounding areas with a calm purpose. Momentarily, they stop, as if seeing
what they want, but just as abruptly, they continue about their way. Long blonde
hair runs to the bottom of her neck. The sun reflects radiantly off the smooth
and silky surface of the Cuticle. Her tanned skin, almost closer to the color
of onyx, is decorated with assorted tattoos. A darkly colored red rose
entwined within its stem rests upon her left bicep. On the other arm, a golden
heart is enclosed rising sun on her wrist. In her back pocket lies a single
black flower, still alive and undaunted by its own disconnected. Delicate and
beautiful, something is amiss about her. Being an obvious female, she seems to
hold much too many male qualities. Her muscles are firm and built, not slender
and honed. Her flesh is covered with thick, coarse hair, not smooth and silky.
Yet her persona, undoubtable certain, exudes confidence and self-assuredness.
Alluring and charming, she slithers back into hiding. |
Jagure - Herald Necro -- such garbage -- aesthetically not pleasing.
| Code: |
A deep sadness and hollowness surrounds this creature. Covered from
head to bottom in milky white feathers. The effect of these colors
is strange. One moment he glows exubberantly; the next moment, he
is dull and empty.
This same contrast to fill his entire being, from his eyes to his
hands to his legs. Gazing about, a sharp glimmer seems to appear
in his eyes. A glimmer of hope of happiness and idealism, looking
for someone, hoping for something. Instantly, it is gone. His eyes
are a solid gray, devoid of color, devoid of being devoid; hollow
and empty, almost. Looking again, the glimmer seems to have been
imagined.
The strange affect ripples through his body. His slender torso
glows while his legs do not. His arms glimmer and his hands...
His hands are strange, so very strange. Yet, the strangeness so
subtle, that most would not even notice. His Four fingers are calm
and steady, firm and strong. Yet, his thumb, disjointed, whirls
around, constantly and nonstop. Always seeing and always looking:
content, but never enough.
The perplexity of his legs... the disaster and unevenness clash
against the rest of his being. One leg is charcoal black, not
completely darkened, but close to it. The other, as pure a white
as there can be: the color of the clouds on a summer day. One
leg shining with hope, one let near the seeming like the pits of
depression. Each leg is so different, yet the same bird possess them. |
Saere - Human Druid - Evil Neutral
| Code: |
A small bundle of a person is covered under a shimmering light blue robe.
The hood conceals a mess of compacted, dirty blonde hair that is just
about ear length. Slight giggles erupt occassionally from the blue bundle
as glimpses of a small comfort object are had, a bunny it seems. As she
kneels a pair of long fluffy white ears show through underneath the her
enclosed arms. It looks almost as if the she is nuzzling or kissing the
bunny, .. that has color changing ears. The base of the ears are glistening
and red, a small puddle of liquid is forming by the girl's knees. She's smiles
a growing smile. |
and finally, Sutow - half-elf Ranger, part of siamese twins.
| Code: |
Slender and tall, though still quite odd looking, a young half-elf stands
"alone". He's a fairly healthy looking youngster. Well defined muscles
line his arms and legs. Broad shoulders give him the impression of being a
strong man. Thick calves and slender quadriceps show him to be capable of
crossing long distances. Blue, sullen eyes make him look eternally sad, but
his semi-smile attempts to contrast it. His lips are a mixture of light
blue and deep red, odd spots of each color can be distinctly seen. An odd
feature about him seems to be his hips, whose flesh and skin are not only
his, but also another beings with which he shares his existance. Asides
from this, his body, but not his face, is pretty scarred and punctured, as
if from fire and blade. It is quite reasonable to say that he would be a
fine speciment were it not for his oddities. |
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Sethronu
Immortal
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 127
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:54 am Post subject: |
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A three headed reptilian warrior impedes your way. He is definitely
one of the larger sliths and must have grown and molted a number of
times. His body looks agile and yet powerful enough to support three
arching necks and three spade shaped heads. Two heads are still and
their eyes are closed. One head has two characteristic snake eyes
that refocus on you between inner eyelid blinks. His head locks on
to a nearby buzzing insect and falls dead still again. Over his heavy
protective chest plate dangles a cord threaded with a number of small
skulls, one on top of the other. The warrior's tail is unarmored so
you can see that his skin is covered in handsome black and yellow
leopard print. |
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Gygh
Joined: 22 Jan 2004
Posts: 288
Location: Vancouver, WA
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:42 am Post subject: |
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Since my brother isn't here to speak up for himself:
http://abandonedrealms.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2105&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=
Gygh's current description- I think it's the third or fourth version so far.. if anyone would happen to have his younger one (got a virus on my hard drive not too long ago- lost everything), it would mean alot to me if you could send it to me.
| Quote: |
A tall man stands before you; he still seems untamed and wild, despite
his obvious age. He wears a bearskin tunic under various armor pieces that
are several sizes too small. He smells the air, as if trying to learn about
the environment around him- much like an animal would. His staff seems
second-hand and incredibly worn, once black, the long staff appears to be a
bleached gray, it is tipped with battered steel on each end. His arms are
thin and worn from his travels; they no longer have the thick muscles they
used to. He talks in a raspy growl and what he says is barely audible.
Strapped on his back is a battered shield that looks like he once fell on if
from some great height. His armor is a faded-gray, which is too small and
used to be almost painful to wear. His face, which once wore a blissful
expression, now shows worry and fatigue, all of which combine with scars and
wrinkles- giving away his age. His hair, once thick and brown, is now thin
and white; it no longer sweeps down to his shoulders. His blue eyes would
resemble a glassy lake in which you would feel yourself almost lost within,
however they are now dull and near-gray and full of sadness- as if to mourn
for friends lost and now long gone; you sense that there was once a light
within them that radiated with the brilliance of life. He no longer has the
health he used to, he often has fits of coughing and appears very worn from
travel. He looks like all he wants is to rest.
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Static Impulse
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 63
Location: Right next to you, Altheripper...
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Good! Keep em coming. Still need to find the time to post a few of mine when I get home. |
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Static Impulse
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 63
Location: Right next to you, Altheripper...
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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Caidus Helios - Half-elf Pali
| Code: |
Brilliant blue eyes meet your gaze as you peer upon this valiant
half-elf. His face is hardened from battle, yet somehow gentle and kind.
Hair a golden yellow, flowing down over his shoulders like a fine silk.
Steel armor is strapped around his chest, plates on his arms and legs, and
boots and gauntlets and his feet and hands. It's not as shiny as you might
expect a Knight of God's armor to be, but it isn't as dirty as most you've
seen in these realms. Scratches and small chunks taken out can be seen all over his armor proving he's been in his fair share of battles. His body is a strong build, quite muscular and broad. It seems he had aquired the more human side for his physique. His ears are slightly pointed and are the only hint of his elven heritage. Skin a tan color from many days out on crusades. The first of his kind to enter these realms, he makes an effort to prove his worth in the eyes of all others. The main thing that catches your eye is the blazing white cloak he wears. It is quite large and flows behind him like the wind itself. On its back is embroidered an enormous red cross, a symbol of warning for all those that follow the darkness.
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Sephiria Windblade - Human Ranger
| Code: |
An unnerving grin rests on this young girls face. She peers at you with her bright purple eyes, looking at you as if you were no more than a ghost. As if she is looking right past your outer shell deep into your very
thoughts. On a quick glance you notice a few features about her. Her hair
is a midnight black, silky smooth and flowing behind her back. It is
clasped at about the end of her neck with what appears to be a simple silver brooch. Her face is a very fair color, almost pale, and has a few smears of dirt here and there. Lips you would expect to be a vibrant red are in fact similar in appearance to her skin. They are quite lacking in color, possibly due to a lack of nutrition. Her body is quite thin, yet still
strongly built as she does live in the forest. Breasts are quite visible
under her light leather armor, and are almost displayed as if to say she
enjoys taunting men. Her armor stops slightly above the belly button
further convincing you that she is a tease. Tight green pants cover her
legs, and are, as her face, likewise smeared randomly with bits of mud.
Boots are a dull black, and for some reason are one of the only piece of
clothing she has that are not covered with a mud in some way. A curved
scimitar lies lifeless on her hip, gleaming menacingly. Though it is merely
resting there, you feel a sense of hunger and desire pulsing from within.
You look back to her eyes to find her staring right at you, her grin extra
wide. |
Cartek Diskenth - Human Ninja
| Code: |
The man before you stands roughly six feet tall with a sort of lanky
frame. Blond hair is medium length and hangs in his right eye. His eyes
are a brilliant blue, and seem to hide something evil in their depths. A
long white coat hangs open revealing a black and blue dress shirt beneath.
Black pants as nice as his shirt, are well smoothed and show absolutly no
sign of the grime covering this land. In fact nothing on this man seems
dirty at all. It is obvious he spends a lot of his time keeping his outfit
clean. His shoes are made of black leather and are very shiny. As you look over his clothes again you realize that this is a very odd style for a ninja such as himself. He appears to make no attempt to conceal himself, but rather to make himself known to everyone. He holds the scabbard of his sword in his left hand. The scabbard is not particularly decorated, just a simple black case with black chains surrounding it. The only thing of
interest is the word "Kotetsu" enlaided in a deep red along is side. His
sword also shows no real sign of importance, yet you still can't help to
think somethings wrong. The sword sticks slighty out of the scabbard, and
where the blade should be there is only a slight shimmering. He notices
your questioning gaze at him and his sword, and smirks. Slowly turning
around, he walks off into the shadows, his hands in his coat pockets. |
Sorry about the formatting. They're just copy and pasted from the game for the most part. Got several more, but I have to run to get something to eat. I'll post the other's in a while. |
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Sethronu
Immortal
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 127
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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A curved scimitar lies lifeless on her hip, gleaming menacingly.
Lifeless.. but menacing! |
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jaran
Immortal
  
Joined: 07 Feb 2004
Posts: 493
Location: Northern Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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| sounds like my ex girlfriend. |
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Vanisse
Immortal
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 2793
Location: inside a tree
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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hamps_sis
Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:32 am Post subject: |
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I'm not even close to decent at writing a description..I was wondering what you guys think of this one..
A frail, thin figure stands weakly. Grey hair falls to her knees full of tangles and knots. Skin the color of fire, blotchy and dirt stained. Deep set eyes, forming a shadow upon her wrinkled face, stare forth into nothing..a pale blue. Thin chapped lips slightly frown, hiding her jagged, broken teeth, some of which are missing. Covered only by a tattered brown robe and some pieces of worn armor. Paper thin arms, bones and veins visible, hang limply to her sides. She stands upon two frail legs, no taller than your average Duergar. She walks with a slight limp, slowly but surely. A soft, raspy whisper is to be heard, carried by the Theran breeze.. |
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DarkFire
Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Posts: 50
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: |
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| its ok, you jump around but its good if you kinda dont jump around |
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Static Impulse
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 63
Location: Right next to you, Altheripper...
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| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Code: |
| As you peer upon this young girl, you take in many of her physical features. Her hair is a midnight black, silky and long, flowing down behind her back. Eyes like the moon, shine a lucid purple, mesmerizing you. Such eye color is quite rare and said only to be possessed by the members of the Tonishi clan. Such information is common knowledge, as the Tonishi clan is feared for their unsurpassed skill in assassinations and combat. The look in her eyes shows you she is skilled, yet still has much to learn if she is to match the masters. Her face is of fair color, not overly pale; yet not darkened by the sun as many of the adventurers of Thera have. Athletically built, her body is a silent killing machine. Sleek frame with ample strength, combine for a deadly combination. She doesn’t seem to hide her attractiveness with much effort, as her breasts are displayed just beneath her white tunic. On her exposed arms, she sports a strange tattoo on the inside of her left wrist. It can only be described as a series of strange symbols. The way she looks at it, a sorrowful gaze, you would imagine it to be the name of a loved one; someone close to her that was taken to the world beyond. A katana lies at her waist, sheathed by an ornate scabbard. Cream colored ceramic surrounds the sturdy steel case. An intricate gold inlay depicts a great dragon protecting a village from demons. She turns to you as if to say, “Can I help you?” clearly perturbed by your constant staring. Smirking, she turns around and disappears into the shadows of the street. |
*edit: Just posting the full desc.
Just posting this so I can get to it from home. But feel free to post more or comment on this one.
Last edited by Static Impulse on Fri May 05, 2006 8:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Vhrael
Immortal
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 1085
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Static Impulse wrote: |
| Just posting this so I can get to it from home. But feel free to post more or comment on this one. |
You can always write an email to yourself...  |
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Static Impulse
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 63
Location: Right next to you, Altheripper...
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| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Can't email from school, since the school seems to think email is the devil...along with google image... But at least it is a description in a post pertaining them. |
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Vertas
Joined: 17 Jan 2004
Posts: 1168
Location: Ewa Beach, HI
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I have some pretty amazing ones but I run away with the ideas too much. There are parts of some of mine which i say wow thats really clever, like i try and think of more powerful words for stuff like instead of a gaping mouth of rotten teeth. A cavernous maw with a horde of blackened teeth.
What I try to do for the characters that I want best roleplayed is I'll pick an attribute about them that I want most disturbing, and I'll bring it up several times in the description, to show that whatever it is so... disturbing that the viewer can't help but notice it "feel the eyes still watching" (or whatever) even though he is examining a tattoo on his back or something.
Another thing I do is that I don't like to use every day adjectives. I'll write it out and then look at all of the adjectives and try to fit them in a theme for whatever I want for the character. So for Valihan it was death, so I'd use phrases like "a horde of blackened teeth" and other words in general that I think can be improved, and whatnot.
theres my little schpeel on descs, i'll probably post a few of mine in a bit. |
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Erlwith
Joined: 22 Mar 2006
Posts: 1626
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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There are few very good descriptions around that are actually really good and that flow. Here's one of the ones I liked...
| Code: |
Hunched over infront of you is an elderly man with a skeletal frame. He
clenches his stomach in starvation, and foams at the mouth from unquenched
thirst. His attire is a simple white hooded robe, tattered to mere shreds.
His skin is pale and beaten from the harsh, unforgiving Theran storms.
Lying in the dirt behind the man sits a seemingly lifeless stone statue, and
the rotting corpse of a young woman, which occasionally gives an eerie twitch.
He has just opened up his eyes to the world.
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| Code: |
Prismatic light refracts from the leathery skin of this Illithid. He
bears the longer barbed tentacles of the males in his species, which
protrude from his shoulders moving quickly and concisely. They split into
seven different tendrils on each side of his body, coated in slimy black
liquid. Three smaller tentacles extend out from both sides of his large
oval head. Four small black eyes are aligned in the shape of a diamond in
the center of his forehead, they do not blink or move even slightly. The
majority of his face is occupied by a cavernous mouth covered only with
pieces of skin that open in a circle to reveal hundreds of tiny sharp teeth.
His figure is not massive, in fact his body is rather sinewy and long
putting him a few inches short of six feet tall. Little more can be made
out as his tentacles rap around his body writhing and curling with delicacy.
A low chittering verberates from within his facial aperture. His person is
utterly without expression, moving with an aquatic grace.
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Sethronu
Immortal
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 127
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 1:50 am Post subject: |
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one time i read someone's description and it was a direct copy of one of my older chars' descs
bet you he was wondering how i knew that he plagiarized it |
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theobserver
Guest
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:42 am Post subject: |
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I caught marsd doing that with one of my old descs too.  |
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Erlwith
Joined: 22 Mar 2006
Posts: 1626
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I have your desc copied in a file. Bwah, I'm going to create Torkalen clones! |
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marsd
Joined: 16 Jan 2004
Posts: 832
Location: Magewares
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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Haha, damnit Athtai haha. I used scarrss' desc a few times before  |
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