The spider web
| You are walking along the narrow path, ducking under the sticky
| ropes as you advance... Suddenly you tumble into a spider's
| sticky trap! Oh no, you've fallen, and you can't get up!!!
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[Exits: none]
Cyprian the Tentative is here.
A nasty old hag here with boils on her skin.
Fat Hilda winks seductively at Cyprian.
Fat Hilda cackles 'You want some of this, dearie?'
Fat Hilda traces a gnarled finger down her neckline.
You feel nauseous at the thought.
The huge, poisonous spider stings you!
Fat Hilda says 'I'll help you escape, but first you must give me a kiss!'
Fat Hilda throws back her head and cackles with insane glee!
Cyprian yells 'Oh me! Oh my!'
Cyprian yells 'By the gods, poke out either eye!'
Cyprian yells 'I walk through unawares, behold it's Hilda!'
Cyprian yells 'What do I do. What do I do!?'
Cyprian yells 'She tells me to kiss her!'
Cyprian yells 'I'd rather be thrust through!'
Cyprian says '..damn it.'
Cyprian says '..I can't sing the pill to me.'
Cyprian says '..well I was uninspired!'
Cyprian says 'Of course it was bad!'
Cyprian says '..if I drank enough...just maybe...'
Cyprian says '..please let five mugs be enough...!'
Cyprian says 'EMPTY!?'
Cyprian says 'NO!'
Cyprian says 'NO NO NO NO!'
Cyprian fumbles through mug after mug.
Fat Hilda says 'I'll help you escape, but first you must give me a kiss!'
Fat Hilda throws back her head and cackles with insane glee!
Cyprian says 'I heard you the first time!'
Cyprian glares icily at Fat Hilda.
Fat Hilda slaps Cyprian.
Cyprian says 'And OW!'
Cyprian says 'You sting me, now you slap me!'
Cyprian says '..this is so cruel.'
The huge, poisonous spider stings you!
Cyprian says 'Ow!'
Cyprian coughs gently into his palm.
Cyprian taps a foot in rhythm.
Cyprian says '..this is going to be..'
Cyprian says '..so humiliating..'
Fat Hilda says 'I'll help you escape, but first you must give me a kiss!'
Fat Hilda throws back her head and cackles with insane glee!
Cyprian says 'Oh, I will!'
Cyprian says 'Desperate as it is, it's my last defense!'
Cyprian yells 'Give me your ear, lend me your heart.'
Cyprian yells 'I stand before Hilda, she stings me apart!'
Cyprian yells 'Gurgling a cackle, pill in her hand.'
Cyprian yells 'She puckers her lips! What man can stand!?'
Cyprian yells 'I want to get out!'
Cyprian yells 'I cry and I pout!'
Cyprian yells 'My lyrics prove garbage!'
Cyprian yells 'I'm uninspired by Hilda's baggage!'
Cyprian yells 'Once more, once more. I try it again!'
Cyprian yells 'That I might sing the pill out of her hand!'
Cyprian yells 'Will she hearken? Will her eyes open!?'
Cyprian says 'I tell you here, woman..'
Cyprian yells 'That my heart is not so easily stolen!'
Cyprian stops tapping his foot, takes a decisive step back, and folds his arms.
Cyprian says 'You haven't freed me!'
Cyprian covers his face with both palms.
Cyprian peeks through his fingers toward Fat Hilda.
Cyprian says '..so..'
Cyprian says '..humiliating..'
Cyprian claps his hands in rhythm, weakly. endurance wears thin.
Cyprian yells 'One more time, give me a line!'
Cyprian yells 'Give my eyes relief, douse them in lime!'
Cyprian throws an arm dramatically over his eyes.
Cyprian yells 'She sits before me, horror sublime!'
Cyprian yells 'This is, indeed, turn-off personified!'
Cyprian yells 'I hear the ringmaster's voice in the air!'
Cyprian yells 'How is the circus waiting anywhere?'
Cyprian yells 'The attraction is right HERE!'
Cyprian points at Fat Hilda. How rude!
Fat Hilda throws back her head and cackles with insane glee!
Cyprian yells 'Oh, a soothing rain came by.'
Cyprian yells 'Still fell short of dulling the pain!'
Cyprian yells 'I refuse, I'd sooner die gory!'
Cyprian yells 'Rather than kiss a lady THIS HOMELY!'
Cyprian sits down and curls his knees up to his chest, defiant.
The huge, poisonous spider stings you!
Cyprian says '...ow.'
Cyprian says '..gold?'
Cyprian says '..will you take that?'
Fat Hilda says 'Why, I was once the most beautiful in the lands...'
Cyprian stares. Not very convinced.
Cyprian says 'Oh, so you're talking now.'
Cyprian says 'Instead of cackling.'
Cyprian says '..I guess I should at least entertain that.'
Cyprian says 'So how long ago was that? A millenia ago?'
Cyprian shivers uncomfortably.
Fat Hilda says 'It's been so long...'
Cyprian looks at Fat Hilda.
Cyprian says 'Clearly.'
Her face is covered in a thousand wrinkles. Its leathery skin looks far
too big for the body it fits on. A rhino is less wrinkled than this. The
hair is as grey as a badgers. This squat head sits on a bloated body,
planted on the ground atop of an enormous fat ass.
Fat Hilda is in excellent condition.
Fat Hilda is using:
<held> a spotted purple pill
Cyprian says 'I'm pretty sure I'm not the first to fall here.'
Fat Hilda throws back her head and cackles with insane glee!
Fat Hilda says 'Just one, small, harmless kiss and you could be free!'
Cyprian says 'Is it harmless?'
Fat Hilda says 'Imagine...the fresh air...the sky...'
Cyprian takes a moment to imagine.
Cyprian says 'Ow.'
Cyprian says 'Yes, I can imagine it.'
Cyprian says 'But...'
Cyprian says 'You obviously don't think so harmless, if freedom is your incentive.'
Cyprian says 'Kisses are given.'
Cyprian says 'Not bargained.'
Cyprian says 'Still. You're not so bad. Maybe you just need to be sung to?'
Cyprian says '..maybe not.'
Cyprian looks at a diary excerpt.
Cyprian says 'I have diaries! I can still hold out!'
Fat Hilda says 'You'll change your mind...eventually...'
Cyprian raises an eyebrow.
Fat Hilda says 'They always do.'
Fat Hilda nods quietly to herself. What a wacko.
Cyprian looks up from Benton's entry.
Cyprian says 'Singing is a good way to occupy misery.'
Fat Hilda picks at a boil.
Cyprian says 'Don't make me curse your ears with more uninspired garbage.'
Cyprian glares at Fat Hilda.
Fat Hilda says 'Now now, that won't get you anywhere.'
Fat Hilda slaps Cyprian.
Cyprian says 'You thought what I sang to you was bad. You haven't seen just how awful I can be!'
Cyprian says 'Even toads have better diversity in lyrical material!'
Cyprian folds his arms defiantly.
Fat Hilda says 'Oh?'
Cyprian says 'What? You weren't listening before..?'
Fat Hilda says 'I've never heard a toad sing.'
Cyprian says 'Oh they sing.'
Cyprian says 'Well.'
Cyprian says '..they croak.'
Cyprian says 'But that was the joke.'
Fat Hilda claps her hands in approval.
Cyprian blinks.
Fat Hilda says 'You rhymed!'
Cyprian peers around himself intently.
Cyprian says 'Well, of course!'
Fat Hilda says 'Such a poet.'
Cyprian says '..a couple lines isn't all that impressive.'
Cyprian says 'A child can do as much.'
Cyprian says 'Example.'
Cyprian says '"Mommy Mommy."'
Cyprian says '"Look at me."'
Cyprian says 'You see?'
Cyprian rubs his eyes.
Cyprian says 'Hmph.'
Cyprian says 'Alright.'
Cyprian sits down on the ground.
Cyprian says 'I'll rhyme for you. Will you take that?'
Fat Hilda says 'Hmmm.'
Fat Hilda rubs one of her chins.
Fat Hilda says 'A poem about something...some adventure...some life you've lived out there.'
Fat Hilda says 'I will let you go to know the world again, even just a little bit.'
Cyprian says 'Alright then...'
Cyprian stands up.
Cyprian says 'Care if it were about a fox or a hen?'
Cyprian says 'A tale of drunken brawling, every now-and-again?'
Fat Hilda says 'If that is what you saw.'
Cyprian says '..truthfully, it's been a while. But this is something I remember from some time ago.'
Cyprian coughs into his palm.
Cyprian yells ''A spark of light hath split the sky''
Cyprian yells ''A damsel she was, apple of the eye''
Cyprian yells ''One look, I neither laughed nor cried''
Cyprian yells ''In my arms she became none-to-shy''
Cyprian shakes a finger at you.
Cyprian yells ''Beware o ye, drunk or sober''
Cyprian yells ''A man he comes a-waltzing over''
Cyprian yells ''To bare the fang and clench the fist''
Cyprian yells ''For he failed to do his amorous business!''
Fat Hilda smirks.
Cyprian sidesteps as though encountering the man.
Cyprian yells ''Hello, dear sir, does this belong to you?''
Cyprian yells ''She came to me, hardly without a clue''
Cyprian yells ''Now come ye to me, angry as a dog''
Cyprian gestures angrily.
Cyprian yells ''Get ye hence, sleep in thy bed and shovel thy slop!''
Cyprian sidesteps the opposite way, jumping to a later point in time.
Cyprian yells ''Oh dear, you were the best''
Cyprian yells ''I swear up-and-down, I make no jest''
Cyprian yells ''Now, go to your husband and tell him this:''
Cyprian yells ''Tell him another knew better how to kiss!''
Cyprian says 'That's not all. I can make it worse.'
Cyprian glares around icily.
Fat Hilda says 'The story it continues!'
Cyprian blinks.
Fat Hilda claps in glee and wiggles.
Cyprian says 'I mean worse rhymes.'
Cyprian says 'I caused a brawl once.'
Fat Hilda says 'With a rhyme?'
Cyprian says 'Yes. They were so horrible, people were beside themselves and started swinging.'
Cyprian snorts derisively.
Cyprian says 'Ow.'
The Queen Spider yells 'Food!'
Cyprian yells 'NO!'
Fat Hilda says 'Oh my.'
Cyprian yells 'I've entertained you enough!'
Cyprian yells 'Now I'm stuck with my foot in the trough!'
Cyprian grumbles and growls. You wonder what's wrong...
Fat Hilda says 'Well, I do suppose fair is fair.'
Cyprian says 'Is it? I feel like I've given you nothing.'
Cyprian says 'But there must be something other than kissing!'
Cyprian buries his face in his palm with a heavy sigh.
Fat Hilda gives a spotted purple pill to Cyprian.
Fat Hilda grins evilly.
Cyprian says '..I hate being hon-'
Cyprian says 'You're serious.'
Cyprian says 'Alright. For this, I'll do one more.'
Cyprian shudders at the horror and represses tears.
Fat Hilda throws back her head and cackles with insane glee!
Cyprian says 'You might like it though.'
Cyprian says 'My dwarf accent is horrible.'
Fat Hilda leans forward to listen.
Cyprian yells ''Behold ye all, these words ain't mine''
Cyprian yells ''Och! I tell ya, a pile o' nine''
Cyprian yells ''When ah' came tae an inn''
Cyprian yells ''A spectre split me tongue as a twin''
Cyprian yells ''Nae, ah' be a dwarf, I love me metal''
Cyprian yells ''Here's a lass named Hilda, she told me little''
Cyprian yells '''Fore I knew it she had me mind''
Cyprian yells ''Fawrcing me tae say I loved her behind!''
Cyprian hides in his palms, embarrassed.
Fat Hilda wiggles her bottom.
Cyprian says '..you're probably the only person who knows..'
Cyprian snorts derisively.
Cyprian says 'Why I don't bard-around.'
Cyprian says 'And why I'll only do it drunk.'
Cyprian says 'Because I stop caring how awful it is.'
Cyprian snickers softly.
Cyprian says 'Anyway. I'll tell stories of you when the whim takes me.'
Fat Hilda says 'Perhaps...send a traveler or two my way.'
Fat Hilda grins evilly.
Cyprian nods.
Cyprian says 'How the once ugly woman gave beautifully.'
Cyprian looks at Fat Hilda.
Fat Hilda says 'Well now, making me blush.'
Cyprian says 'Hush.'
Cyprian says 'Saddens me you remain here while I go.'
Cyprian says '..somehow.'
Cyprian shivers uncomfortably.
Cyprian says 'Anyway. I'm tired of being stung.'
Cyprian waves goodbye to Fat Hilda.
Fat Hilda says 'Now now, that won't get you anywhere.'
Cyprian says 'It did once before!'
Cyprian growls.
Cyprian says '..oh.'
Cyprian says 'I don't swallow this..'
Cyprian says '..eat it?'
Cyprian eats a spotted purple pill.
The ether rips open, then snaps closed around Cyprian.
Cyprian vanishes!
A forest road
f | The forest surrounds you as the path you tread upon seems to
| | get darker and darker. Foliage from the leaves loom menacingly
f | as rustles can be heard from underneath the brush.
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f-z-z |
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[Exits: north south]
Cyprian the Tentative is here.
Cyprian drops to his knees.
Cyprian says 'That was so ..awful.'
Cyprian says 'I have never forced so much lack of inspiration!'
Cyprian digs fingers in the dirt.
Cyprian says 'Still..'
Cyprian says '..because of this..'
Cyprian stands to his feet, and the dirt slips out of his fingers.
Cyprian smirks.
Cyprian says 'I can say a fat lady showed me the light.'