The Serin Mystique, Volume 2, Issue 6

Welcome to the Serin Mystique, Volume 2, Issue 6!
This issue sheds some light on Tethesis's crusade. Our own Torkalen
talked to Mayor of Seringale. Latest changes of cabal Immor(t)als are
covered in headlines. Three notable Serins croaked so Obituaries are
back. If you are really idle you might wish to learn something about
eldest tree in Serin. Spalino reminisces about Proticus and after a long
long time we bring you a poem! I kid you not! That and plenty more in
this Mystique. Enjoy puny citizens!

The sections you can 'look' at in the Serin Mystique are:

1) Serin Mystique Headlines (see Headlines, Headlines2)
2) Obituaries (see Obituaries)
3) Cabal Affairs (see Cabal)
4) Battles (see Battles, Battles2, Battles3)
5) History of the Colossal Tree (see Colossal)
6) Interview with Mayor of Seringale (see Interview)
7) A Poem! Run for the hills! (see Omnipresence)
8) Talks with Serins (see Talks)
9) Serins Talk Back (see Talkback, Talkback2)
10) Ramblings of a Reluctant Scribe (see Ramblings)

We hope that the voices of the past will guide your future journeys.



1) Serin Mystique Headlines

Headlines

THERAN MYSTIQUE HEADLINES (Part One)

Tethesis' Crusade
------------------------------
The newly appointed Executor of the Knights has announced that any and
all evil members of the Warlord cabal are to be purified as any other evil
would be. At first, he allowed his fellow Knights to remain neutral in the
matter if they wished it so, but after being left in the cold by Dioraem,
Jannus, and Erdessa, Tethesis made it an order, threatening to remove all
members from the Knights as well as resign. His reasoning for this is that
he believes the Knights have grown weak in mind and he wishes to bring
out the religious fervor within the Knights once more that hasn't been seen
'since the days of old.' So far there have been only a few skirmishes
between Tethesis, Dioraem, Xyrone, and Uguzu, with Tethesis constantly
badgering the Warlords to convert to the light or even neutrality. Sethronu
is compliant with the Knights' move, as the battles have been honorable
fights to the death.

Archon Erdessa appalls Seringale!

------------------------------
As I shared the North Square of our beloved capital with allegedly
honorable Knight Erdessa out of jest I called a cuddly gnome baby.
Mockingly I threatened that I shall pummel the baby unless she produces
Some of those filling magic mushrooms. To my great amusement Err shock
the sneering healer sent her Vainglory in violent downward swing and
crushed baby's skull. With voice saturated in irony she claimed she
dropped the Vainglory... Amateur... Although efficient, Vainglory is by
no means effective weapon for skull crushing... The level of gore is less
then intriguing and you won't see head content fly farther then a few
feet. You need more physical club for such! Everybody knows that Mace
feet. You need more physical club for such! Everybody knows that Mace of
Unholy Powers is optimal for proper baby mashing... But wait, Erdessa
can't wield that mace... Humm that's just MAYBE because holy Knights,
Defenders of the innocent and weak are not supposed to crush baby's
heads...

Newest addition to the Heavens

-----------------------------
Ronus, the captain of the Sea Forth (his old vessel manned by Blonk,
Zasa, Shador, Aranoth, and himself) has left the mortal planes to gain
more powerful voodoo, his now trademark ability. He left the mortal
realm, seen sailing into the heavens on a black mast ship, cannons
booming in salute. His new ship, the Star-Crossed Marauder, is
currently unmanned. Ronus tells me he plans to man it with a new
age of pirates, the old code is no more, and a new code will be
instated. The crew of his old ship, he says, will decide for themselves
whether they wish to go on as pirates of the Sea Forth, or join the
crew of the Marauder. Even if they don't wish to transfer, Ronus plans
to advertise his calling for a crew... I asked him why immortality, he
tells me to grow in his voodoo and assume complete control of his
men, and, in exchange for more powerful curses, Ronus now trains the
young ones in combat. Not quite a Deal with the Devil, unless you
consider Ronus the latter.

(Continued in Headlines2)

Headlines2

THERAN MYSTIQUE HEADLINES (Part Two)

Legion under new management
-------------------------------
Following his ascent to immortality and a period of time as a Guide,
Zrakalon has replaced Groq as the immortal of Legion. His policies
appear to be far stricter than the recent laxity of the "Feared" Cabal.
Perhaps this change marks the return of those good old days when
people were actually afraid of these followers of the Dark. We'll see.

Knights under new patronage

------------------------------
Legions were not the only to gain new immortal leader. After much
standing around at North Square Meriando was gently moved to castle
halls. All we can do is wish Knights best luck with him and inform
the general populace that bench at the square is free again.

Erdessa, Outcast by Tethesis

------------------------------
Yes, Erdessa is no longer a Knight, as some of you may have noticed.
She was given 'honorable discharge' after a meeting with Tethesis at
Battlezone. Oh, he let her off easy, explaining that she was a good Knight,
but he had no place in his halls for the weak of mind (as Erdessa argued
Tethesis on his declaration on the Warlords), and gave her the candy
coated boot. One word comes to mind - 'Example.'

Xyrone Demoted for Deathmark

------------------------------
It was a bright and sunny day that was darkened by the presence of a
vampire in the realms (though, I'm sure the Knights still managed to have
fun). Xyrone spotted the vampire upon entrance and immediately placed a
deathmark upon him. Unfortunately, being a vampire isn't reason enough
to die to a Warlord, as Xyrone had no past relations with her (Taromani).
He was demoted to back to Challenger.

Jannus' Last Patrol, Michaelei Returns

------------------------------
Jannus, the Elven Invoker, Archon of Valour, has left the realms. She,
as well, did not wish to take part in attacking evil Warlords, and has
gone off to travel far away, never to return. Soon after, Michaelei, the
previous Executor of the Knights, returned to quiet the rumors of her
turning evil, and to battle Tethesis' point of view. After a lengthy
battle of words, Michaelei left again.

Xyrone outcasted!
------------------------------

The bright and promising career of this drow Warlord came to end in
rather murky circumstances. In short Kalest was to duel Phelanyo. The
duel was heard, but no challenge was issued and the paladin immediately
engaged the avian warrior. Kalest made short work of it slaying the
Warlord. At that time Xyrone was to duel Liraleyn and he chose to go
about his business instead of avenging his brother. Sethronu found that
(would be only fair first to let Phelanyo to seek reparations) at least
not enough to sacrifice presently most talented warlord. But what do we
know...


2) Obituaries

Obituaries

OBITUARIES

Those literate of you who actually lived long enough to read the last
issue of our Mystique might remember that I put a stop to obituaries to
utter morons undeserving of ink and parchment wasted on them. Well seems
that my harsh words did not go unnoticed. Three of distinguished Serins
dived into abyss in order to fill this section.

The First

There is always a first, but I strongly doubt that this one shall be
followed by many or any. He had only one life to live but he did it with
style. This beast ranger drew attention even as he ranked his peculiar
persona cheering and irritating those around him. Upon reaching pinnacle
he fought and he prevailed, joined with infamous pirate crew but never
pillaged with them. I am not used to giving out compliments in heaps so
I'll stop. For reasons unknown he threw himself in Mashadar's path who
ended his only life quickly. In ages rare have made as strong impression
on this scribe. Farewell Aranoth, may abyss serve you well.

The benign one

One of two Warmasters in this issue's obituaries deserved his place here
maybe more for his longevity then his skills as a fighter, which near the
end became quite respectable. or leader, which well, honestly always
were dungish. Duergars always made formidable warriors and in the end
even this one proved such. He upheld the principles of his cabal to best of
his abilities, honestly these days that is more then you can hope to ask
for. Be gone Occanim, rare will remember you, even fewer will miss you
but at least you tried.

The disappointment

When I first met this one, he wasn't really promising. Dimwit as most
fire giants are he was enjoyable company... His start was hard, looking
at his record was almost painful. But for some bizarre reason I cheered
for this guy with my whole little blackened hearth. Every of his matches
I watched with excitement enjoying his gradual improvement. And time
proved me right. Chalktala from punching bag turned to quite decent
Warlord, and after a while even established himself as a Warmaster. It
went so far that after a while rumors of "new prophet of Warlords who
will lead them to better tomorrow" started to feature his name. And then
the bubble burst. Yet unclear incident (something about deathmark and
looting the body...) resulted in his shame. He was thrown out of halls
and condemned to permanent deathmark, it is said he took his life in
shame. At least I hope he did, such should be the fate of anyone that
lets this scribe down...

-Istina


3) Cabal Affairs

Cabal

CABAL AFFAIRS

[KNIGHT]
Umm interesting times indeed in the Knightly Halls of Virtue. This month
it seems that Meriando lost the heavenly wager for he was placed as immortal
leader of the Knights. Or perhaps it was the Knights who lost the wager?
Umm. In any case, shortly before this event Tethesis rose to Executor
after Michaelei retired from the position. He immediately began imposing
his policies onto an increasingly complacent and passive Knighthood. His
first declaration that Knights must actually purge the evil Warlords caused
several aging Knights to announce their retirement. Good riddance to them
we say.

Recently Loanir and Kol joined the Knightly cause and have been steadily
building up formidable reputations for themselves. Rumors are reaching us
though that Ellian no longer lives following a battle with Roguen, Syrus and
Mobath. If this is true, it will come as a blow to Tethesis and his ambitions for he
had high hopes for that paladin.

Current Knights: Tethesis, Dioraem, Daelric, Loanir, Dinveli, Kol,
Edynarius

[JUSTICE]

Woe are we! The total and utter failure of new Justice recruits has long
been the corner stone of this column. But disaster has befallen. The JJJ's
(Jeradan's Just about anyone for Justice) have finally been exhausted. Yes!
The endless stream of incompetent and inept law enforcers has run dry. But
Lord Jeradan is not the only one pottering about with a worried brow. Indeed,
many Heralds are looking over their shoulders too because without the Justice
to mock, a few Scribes may be out of work.

Current Justices: Thamivon, Argoris, Vhrael, Rosenezi, Verikoz,
Jezikapine, Jhol

[HERALD]

In a stroke of brilliance we inducted the half-elf Vanisse into our Halls
and set her to work cleaning the place for us. So with a typical bout of
energy and enthusiasm she embarked on a furious cleaning frenzy.
Goats were brushed roughly outdoors, rotting scrolls were dumped onto
garbage piles, and the pond was emptied of urine. Unfortunately in her
enthusiasm she seems to have thrown both Kazshi and Raduryn onto the
garbage heap. Realizing they both have been sitting silently gathering
dust for weeks now, we decided to leave them there. In other news
Myojin, another well-known Herald recently declared his intention to visit
his gnome village for a time. Something about an owl. Deciding it better
not to ask, we waved him goodbye then promptly searched his room for
his hidden stash of gold coins.

Current scribes: Istina, Spalino, Kailya, Liraleyn, Vanisse.


[WARLORD]

The Warlords continue to frustrate us heralds with their conspiracy of
silence regarding past members. Recently Xyrone, a warlord who many
were predicting would become the next Warmaster, was exiled from the
Fortress in disgrace. To our shame, even a dozen of the strongest
dwarven firebreathers would not loosen a Warlord's tongue to speak of
Xyrone's crime. All we could uncover were snatches of rumor concerning
Xyrone dishonoring himself by refusing to gain revenge on behalf of
Phelanyo. Elsewhere, Occanim and Chalktala, both former Warmasters,
have ended their lives while Phelanyo was accepted into the Fortress.

Current Warlords: Iangretor, Dumuzi, Tolmir, Aerandir, Cribbus, Zharek,
Uguzu and Phelanyo.


[LEGION]
Finally there are signs of activity stirring from within the shadows. The
Immortal Zrakalon, once of Legion himself, seized upon the vacuum of
power to harness the dark strength of the legions for himself. Determined to
use their strength to dominate all of Serin, he slowly seeks to draw other
ambitious warriors of darkness to the Legion. But the task is not an easy one.
Large patrols of Knights are regularly seen combing the cities and forests of
Serin, determined to crush any new uprising of the Legion before it can gather
force.

We at the Serin Mystique have recently discovered scrolls describing a
time when the Legion was thought defeated. The scrolls speak of a night
when unseen voices whispered a dark prophecy - "From the east, cometh the
master of darkness..." . And so it came to pass. For an abysmal blackness
came upon the land as the one called Darkhan appeared on the eastern edges
of Serin. Darkhan wasted little time and soon reformed the infamous Legion to
embark on a legacy of destruction and terror that remain legendary even till
today. We can only hope that history does not repeat itself with Zrakalon.


4) Battles

Battles


BATTLES
Tethesis Slaughtered by Istina
--------------------------------
No, it doesn't stop at the Warlords. Istina, our own High Herald, was
attacked by Tethesis out of nowhere, yet in only five Serin hours,
Tethesis was bested and killed. Dioraem has yet to make a move against
him, though his foot did get a little itchy at one time. Who says Heralds
can't fight?

Istina wins!


Thamivon vs Ronus, Zasa and Blonk

--------------------------------
Our favorite light walker Justice hears his guardian yell and runs to his
halls in a panic. Waiting for him is our equally beloved ninja, Zasa.... Zasa
easily strangles Tham, while in the meantime Ronus pops up and
spreads the Voodoo Love(TM) to the dear old elf with a free side of
blindness, blasphemy and a quick dispel. Feeling left out, Blonk joins in
the attack and Tham finds he is now sniffing dust with a mouthful of dirt.
The battle ends with Thamivon being tripped to death. Winners are
Ronus, Blonk and Zasa!


Istina vs Phelanyo
--------------------------------
Istina beat Phelanyo in a duel that started within Seringale's arena, but
soon wandered off into the streets of Seringale. The fight was long and
grueling, Istina fleeing to heal himself, barely landing many maledictives,
but when he became the apparent victor, Phelanyo fled to heal himself of
Istina's curses. Istina complained to Sethronu a bit before Phelanyo
returned, and they continued their fight on the city streets. Istina, having
room to fight on the streets, beat Phelanyo with ease, and as the Warlord
knelt there stunned, Istina finished him off, to take back the mace that
Phelanyo took from him long ago. Istina wins!

Aerandir vs Istina

--------------------------------
A peculiar duel, elven warlord approached this fight rather
overconfidently. Upon perceiving his lack of protection from maledictive
spells your beloved Herald made short work of him. Aerandir performed
certainly bellow his level.
Istina wins!

Tolmir vs Istina
--------------------------------
A feisty duel indeed. Minotaur warlord constantly attempted to charge the
poor little drow. While this tactic certainly proved effective it was not
enough. With little running and few well-placed spells Herald prevailed!
Istina wins!

(continued in battles2)

Battles2

BATTLES

Zharek vs Istina
--------------------------------
In his third warlord duel in a row Herald met this hearty dwarf. After initial
surge the warlord started to flag slowly leaving Istina to finish the duel
switching from mace to rather crude water cube.
Istina wins!

Uguzu vs Istina
--------------------------------
This impressive Warlord, although within halls performing poorly, was the
end of Istina's warlord streak. His mind set he gripped his Blood filled
voulge firmly and in interesting duel keeping constant pressure on frail old
drow delivered no less then five cobra strikes! Last of which sent Istina
stunned to the floor. We hope he shows this much skill in his future duels
within halls of War.
Uguzu wins!

Xyrone vs Istina
--------------------------------
Two times we fought, first time rather naively I sticked to river too long.
Then the lashing serpent found me as I ran with my tail between my legs.
Second fight, in short I was simply outclassed. Too bad there will be no
chances dueling this warlord again.
Xyrone wins two times!

Lhurgroth vs Dinveli, vs Istina
--------------------------------
Lhurgroth the wandering shaman returned to Serin bringing what else
then havoc. First he made short work of young squire Dinveli but he did
not keep still for long. Next he decided to match his skills with no less
then a bard of Herald cabal, Vanisse poked at his eyes and ran for the
hills. Istina then jumped in in order to fill in Vanisse's place. Battle moved
in and out of Seringale. In ferocious battle of two drows Istina prevailed.
First Lhurgroth then Istina wins!

Xyrone vs Uguzu
--------------------------------
This was quite interesting duel, where drow warrior outwitted daft giant
Uguzu. Cleverly he began duel with two icicles. Naively Uguzu turned to
bow attempting to make the best of the situation. But how wrong was he...
Till it was too late he didn't notice that after waving the icicles in front of
him Xyrone switched to shield and icicle. In operation desperation Uguzu
gripped the blood filled voulge and marched at drow. Cobras did come to
his bidding, but too little too late.
Xyrone wins!

(continued in battles3)

Battles3

BATTLES

Uguzu vs Zharek
--------------------------------
In short Uguzu's tour de force. From the start he kept the heat on the dwarf.
Leading almost a flawless duel making but two or three minor mistakes. Again
near the end he turned to blood filled voulge which obediently delivered Zharek
to the floor.
Uguzu wins!

Niralin vs Kento

--------------------------------
Niralin and Kento fought to the submit in the arena today. I watched from the
juggernaut and saw that Niralin although four ranks below Kento is quite the
fighter. He kept the dirt in Kento's eyes which kept him at bay. Niralin's panther
and bear did most of the work in wearing Kento down. The result was almost
deadly as Kento barely escaped with Niralin nearly unharmed.
Niralin wins!

Xyrone vs Khelcharn

--------------------------------
Seems that the sneakiness of Xyrone wasn't enough to save him today boys
and girls. He faced off against one angry stone giant warrior by the name of
Khelcharn today. At first Xyrone had the upper had as he was using bows and
arrows to beat the giant down. Xyrone made the change to a halberd mid-duel
which in my opinion was a bad move seeing as he was winning at that point.
Khelcharn made a quick comeback as Xyrone's dodging abilities failed him
three or four rounds in a row. And let me tell you that giant can pack a punch.
Xyrone then started with his trademark strategy of running like a wounded
chicken (not to say that he is). Xyrone had a near comeback late in the duel but
Khelcharn caught up with him and quickly did him in with a bash leaving Xyrone
kneeling before the giant as Khelcharn stood victorious.
Khelcharn wins!


5) History of the Colossal Tree

Colossal

THE HISTORY OF THE COLOSSAL TREE

How many times have you shallow ungrateful simpletons walked by it. Hit
it while you were fleeing west from Seringale or urinated at its bottom
never even noticing its magnificence... This wondrous colossus of bark
noticing its magnificence... This wondrous colossus of bark
and leaf silently overshadows and dwarfs everything around him since the
beginning of time. Never did you stop to wonder what has this ancient
sage of nature seen, what words were uttered under its branches. Three
times did Serin rumble and roil with changes but it stood untouched.
Wars raged around him but this pale giant only strived higher as if
reaching for heavens. History of our realm is within his rings, images of
our past are etched in his ragged bark, blood of our ancestor mingles
within its pitch. Incredible and magical, timeless and beautiful, forlorn and
obstacle to the unheeding mortals.

Story of this tree reaches back to the time even before Overlord's
supremacy. Then Serin was a magical realm of chaos. Many proud
heroes and champions wandered it seeking justice, glory or wealth.
Fierce Colossus had it all, the biggest of the titans was the creature of the
legends even in the time which was legendary in its own right. Eighty feet
of darkest adamantite absorbing the sun, fiery molten eyes that showed
no fear and immense cudgel that could smash mountains were many
times center of the night fire stories. No keep defended against his siege,
never did his cohorts loose in battle, no single combat was short of
spectacular triumph. He stomped forward leaving songs and corpses in
his wake. In time his fortune was beyond measure and all his battles
fought. His restless fierce spirit gnawed at him, he prowled Serin corner
to corner in search of challenge... Ages passed while his passion and
frustration turned to anger, to fury... to madness.

Crazed he wandered wreaking havoc where he passed, a flurry of curses and
blows until one clear night in center of the realm he looked up. Last shards of
sanity left him as he stared up at sky, constellations glittered. A chariot, a lion, a
small bear, a ship... a titan... huge immense titan, furiously seeking a battle his
club at ready! "Here!" He bellowed wildly swinging his cudgel
towards the sky, clawing at air in blind rage attempting to engage his foe.
Breathless he screamed, begged, threatened, he prayed... "I want to go
up!

Do you Colossus? barely audible voice questioned, a pair of fiery eyes
landed on a dirty bearded unkempt hermit garbed in a mossy straw cloak.
Yesss! titan whimpered barely noticing the figure. So be it. nodded the
figure. From there on legends say that the titan's burning desire combined
with godling's primordial magics cruelly granted his wish. The mage, or
druid or god calmly observed as Colossus turned into a tree. His feet let
roots, his skin turned to bark, his enormous hands split into myriad of
branches. Since then every day the cursed titan strives towards heavens
slowly making his way up towards his final battle.

Such is the fate of the obstacle we so often pass by when we head west
obliviously.

Istina


6) Interview with Mayor of Seringale

Interview

MAYOR OF SERINGALE INCREASES TAXES AND REDUCES CITY
GUARDS
---------------------------------------------------------
Tells citizens to "get off their backsides."
The Mayor of Seringale last night announced his intention of increasing
taxes for all citizens and visitors because he was "bloody tired" of them
sitting around and doing nothing. To illustrate his point, the Mayor
proffered the view that guildhalls concentrated too much on theory and
not enough on practice. 'Besides the cigars and naked woman, what the
Jeebus is the point of joining the Rangers guild to sit around staring at
boars backsides?!'

'The problem with so called adventurers these days is that they are all
blasted wimps. It's all give me this and give me that. I bet they never had
to fight for anything in their life. In fact I bet that they have never been in a
decent fight', the mayor continued while throwing a few playful jabs in my
direction. 'I mean in my day we joined a guild to learn a bloody trade. And
I had to work 50 hours a week just to pay my way. These days they
expect an allowance for everything from cigars to whoring to damn beard
maintenance.'

Warming to his theme he continues: 'You know what annoys me? I mean
really annoys me?' ,he hisses into my ear. 'Blasted bearded humans who
think they are bloody dwarves. They would probably wet themselves if
they ever saw a real weapon. Mind you, they would probably smell better.'
By now the Mayor has hit his stride and is prancing up and down the
room, only stopping occasionally to jab his finger towards me.

'Warlords. What a bloody joke. They don't fight wars or lord over anything.
Daddy pays their way so they can engage in mutual beard stroking orgies
or whatever. Morons!'. When questioned about what he intends to use the
money for he quickly replies, 'Military Service. Get kicked black and blue
by a sexually frustrated sergeant then put them to work guarding my city.

That will show them!


7) A Poem! Run for the hills!

Omnipresence

------------

Omnipresence
------------
Here in the waves:
Your body tattooed with the shifting silhouettes
of a thousand rainbows
a hundred saline smiles lifting the ringlets of your hair
in the vibrant current
As I watch you drift away
your memories leach unaided in the wake
of your waning tide
Your child's laughter at seventeen rings
fresh as a newborn babe
in the chortles of a dolphin
And despite this life, your life
now living as effervescent sparkles in the vastly infinite ocean
I'm still standing upon this shore
with your hand in mine
waiting for you
to open your eyes and see.

- Scribed by Vanisse Lareme.


8) Talks with Serins

Talks

I spoke to Tethesis earlier today of the battles with Phelanyo. Somehow,
the conversation wound to focus on the Knight Executor's beliefs and the
goals for his Knights, so I shall scribe them here.

'The Castle has been completely misunderstood for ages past,' he
stated. What people have been believing thus far, is that Knights are a
force for vengeance, in essence a Justice of the Light, meant to beat back
the Darkness for the grievances it has made against the good people of
Serin.

No longer is this the case, if it ever should have been. Nay, the Knights
are now commanded forth by their leader to set Evil in its place before
any harm can be done to destroy the vestiges of uncouthness and
malevolence before they can come to fruition. Merely walking in the path
of the shadows now merits a death warrant at the hands of a Knight, or at
the very least a battle, for as Tethesis says: 'If an evil is truly not evil, or a
good person, he will convert, else, we must assume that his refusal to
convert is his pledge to the darkness, or that some part of the shadows
yet offers appeal to his eyes, and so he remains on that path.'

And for those dissenters who split from his administration following his
declaration of such? 'The incapable, or the unwilling - the beings who
have not the heart to be a Knight: they have been removed. If you ever
speak to them,' Tethesis continued, 'all they can say is that I am a liar.
They will call Drayskel a liar, they will call me corrupt, and any other name
they know. However the problem lies in the fact that when you ask them
why, they have no answer. They only seek to defile my image, to
assassinate my character, to cover for their own mistakes and
shortcomings.'

Undaunted by the retaliatory accusations of former Knights, Tethesis
finished with this statement: 'What I have stated, what I have done, is
right, and I have the backing of the Gods, the ultimate approval.'


9) Serins Talk Back

Talkback

Recipes

Long have I been on hiatus, researching many long forgotten tongues, so
that I can decipher the words which have befuddled many. These words
are power- ful words of many fantastic dishes! Here is one of the first
translations which I put on this scroll now!
Stone Giant Brain Pate with Elf Crackers
________________________________________
Ingredients Needed:

1 stone giant (More if you have more than 10 guests)
3 elves (they are small, frail things with little meat on their bones)
1 pig (no one likes the texture of ground stone giant brain) garlic
Curry
1 whole onion
Basil
Salt
Pepper
Sugar
Flour
magic gnome powder (for the crackers)
1 tub of lard
Method:
______

Using a sharp implement, or a large rock, crack the skull of the stone
giant. Remove the brain (yes it is very very small) but it is enough for your
purposes. Using a mortar and pestle, grind the brain into a thick paste.
Add in pig parts to help the disgusting texture that this produces. It also
helps with the tangy taste of rocks. Add equal amounts of garlic, curry,
basil, salt and pepper. Add one whole onion, diced. Resume mashing.
Sprinkle 2 pinches of sugar over top and mash again for 5 minutes. Do
not overmash.

Take the elf corpses, and shave off whatever meat you can find. Slice the
elf bits very very fine, as you will be combining it with dry ingredients.
Throw all the finely cut elf bits into a bowl, add lots of flour and water. Mix
furiously until it is consistent. Flatten onto a baking tray, and cut them into
small squares while on the tray. Bake for 10 minutes, no longer.
Now you can spread your stone giant brain pate on the elf crackers and
enjoy!

Wysren Honeydew, Master Chef

PS The tub of lard is needed to eat the entire thing, because it is a lot of
food!

(Continued in talkback2)

Talkback2

ATTENTION: This letter has been sent from a person named Zasa to a
person by the same name. It seems like there was some mistake or
someone has sent a letter to himself. Only there is no sending address nor
return address. We don't know what to make of it, perhaps the
Heralds in their wisdom can offer us some insight.
- Messaging Service

I can remember two things clearly from the curse of memory. A hateful
childhood and the second betrayal that took my life. But excuse me, not
my life - his life. I am not exactly the one I speak of.

I am however inseparable from his name because I am his shadow.
When he committed suicide, he died by my hand as well as his own, for
we both gripped the blade and thrust it into his organs. I blamed Irony
that my fate should be tied to his and that I should cease to exist when he
died. But then I began to hate.

So I will call you "papa" from now on okay? Don't be confused, I call
everybody papa! Even women. Let's pretend you are my papa because I
don't have one. I killed him a long time ago but now I miss him. I'm always
so lonely and sad - I'm only happy when I kill things for you, papa.

I began to hate my long existence of torture and heartbreak as I watched
my master live through years of unspeakable affliction. When he breathed
his last breath, I refused to go with him. I broke free - and vowed to bring
his vengeance upon his many betrayers. I am not a crazy murderer - they
had it coming to them. My master may have been a victim, but I will not
be one.

Look papa! Some kids said I could play with the m. They say I can be the
lookout in their pirate gang! They say I'm a fast runner and I can scout out
rats for them. But should they grow whiskers too, I will catch them and kill
them.

I have achieved the look and mannerisms of actual humans to the point
where I am indistinguishable from my master. I do not however have a
shadow to announce my coming as he did. I can remember my master's
childhood and adulthood, which I now use as tools to achieve my mission.
When I adopt his adult memories I can adopt his manipulative skills.
When I adopt his child memories, I utilize his youthful fury and scrappy
fighting abilities.

Used together, I am the perfect killing machine! Whether by
assassination, beating up, or mind tricks, there are no rats that are safe -
they ALWAYS come to the cheese. I can catch you rats papa, I am good
at catching rats.


10) Ramblings of a Reluctant Scribe

Ramblings

RAMBLINGS OF A RELUCTANT SCRIBE

Lo' everyone and welcome back to the ramblin's. This issue we explore a
legionnaire of the past. This ol' boy was leading the Legion long before
most of ye were an itch in ya papa's trousers. The man I speak of is none
other then the great Forsaken, Proticus. Being born an Illithid, not much is
known about his past and seein' as he was an illusionist by trade he kept
himself shrouded in secrecy most of de time. Proticus was a special case
for he was the first creature in Serin I know of to be turned into de
immortal undead without being human or a dark-knight. Crawling tall, this
man struck fear into the heart of all that opposed him. As a Forsaken of
the Legion he excelled in leadership and striking down everyone that got
in his way. He was Dositheus's right hand man. The incredible thing about
this man though wasn't the fact he was deadly with a capital D. It was the
fact that although a Legionaire he was a good friend to those whom did
him no wrong. He also played a very important role in the construction
band protection of the Heralds. At that time the Heralds had just
re-emerged unto Serin and he was quick to offer protection of them
whilst they got on their feet. After leading the Dark Army for sometime, he
was quickly recruited into Resatimm's Covent of Blood undead task force.
Proticus joined forces with mainly Aeva and together they brought fear
into every living thing in Serin. Cabal leaders cowered in their presence
as they swept across Serin like a plague. After the disbandment of the
Covent by the heavens Proticus soon disappeared from Serin without a
trace. Some speculate that he himself ascended to a higher plane of
being while others believe him to have been killed by an unknown
Crusader. Remember this man so that someone might someday ascend
to the status that he once held. Well folks that's it for me, until next time,
forget not your past for if you do ye are doomed to repeat it.

Spalino Palzini, Elder Bard of Serin


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