The Serin Mystique, Volume 4, Issue 4|
Dear reader, we have a real t(h)reat for you this time! Apparently Sylth1) Battles (see battles1, battles2, battles3, battles4, battles5, battles6)
borrowed a "Sheared - Black Merino" limited issue without asking. Needless to
say, Torkalen turned the Tavern inside out in a desperate frantic search.
Reduced to a sobbing clump of feathers, he was found by Vanisse and Artos. A
few cups of warmed firebreather later Torkalen was in his bed and the two
turned to tidying up the Tavern. Among broken bottles, shattered furniture
and really nastily disheveled curtains they stumbled upon a dusty
haphazardly binded set of scrolls. Further research (they sat and read it)
revealed that it was actually a LOST Mystique! Dating ALL the way back to
before the... Well last Mystique. Read all about ancient battles, relive
the end of Warlords in great and painful detail. And above all do not miss
on a last chance to read the works of a reject scribe Maelein, whose poetic
expression strongly brings to mind such masterworks as "Umea Tales".
So with great joy we present you the "Serin Mystique - tad more out of date
than usually". Enjoy.
(The unfortunate copy of "Sheared" is yet to be returned.)
2) Current Events (see events1, events2, events3)
3) Opinions (see opinions1, opinions2)
4) Stories (see stories1, stories2)
5) Obituaries (see obituaries1, obituaries2)
6) Letter (see letter)
7) Lament (see lament)
8) Dated (see dated)
9) Mushrooms (see mushrooms)
10) Interview (see interview)
11) Case001 (see Case001)
We hope that the voices of the past will guide your future journeys.
BLOOD AND GUTS
***Larieb vs Elaedon***
A duel to the death by Warlord manners. Elaedon came in quick and
hard against Larieb and beat him senseless. Larieb died to the fast hands
and feet of Elaedon.
***Hargan vs Elaedon***
Another fast fight. It seems the monk has the strongest and fastest
hands in all of Serin defeating Hargan in less than eight rounds of
***Ashr vs Chog***
From what Ashr said Chog attacked him first and he wanted revenge.
They began the fight north of Seringale, and it was a mighty fight with
them two. Chog doing the hit and run tactics against Ashr he almost got
him but Ashr was dispelling him and his golems were beating him down
into the ground. Along with the acid blast Chog was defeated but Chog
put up a good fight.
In a fight against Ashr and Chog which has yet to be finished Nythien
jumped on Chog in town and the two fought. Chog taking the upper
hand with his warrior skills the dark-knight was soon finding himself
fleeing for his life. Running into the sewers to hide was the dark knights
plan but he did not count on the tracking skills of Chog finding him
sleeping. There Chog laid waste to Nythien, striking him down with his
mighty swords. With Nythien's last breath he groaned in failure and then
slowly slumped to the muddy sewer ground.
***Jerusai vs Marikesh***
In this fight two berserkers fought to the death striking at one another in
an all out slugfest. A little fleeing to quaff potions but other than that it
was all fighting. Jerusai being strong of mind took on the fire giant alone
and in a great time of need and two or three more hits till death he
raged and due to his special powers his wounds closed and he was able
to stay in the fight. In a last effort he swung and killed the evil giant but
collapsed from his wounds that he suffered.
***Chog vs Nythien***
Chog has told me of the fight with him and Nythien and how he started
again. Chog seeing Nythien got ready for a fight just incase. They fought
in the mist and Chog hobbled him. The dark knight ran away as fast as
he could but he was not fast enough. He ran into Tyr Unguld and there
he met up with his fate. Chog out of potions and already weak from the
earlier fights, charged into battle with his mighty axe and there he
hobbled Nythien. With that hobble he fled and fell as he tried to run
away, Chog walked in and with a mighty attack slew the downright evil
dark knight in his tracks. Nythien slowly slumped to the floor and
(Continued in battles2)
***Chog vs Rhycan***
This fight started with Chog gaining potions and Rhycan attacking him.
Rhycan using his undead creatures and acid blast he word Chog down
enough to get him to run a little ways leading him to Ofcol. While Chog
was resting Rhycan was walking around looking for him and when the
time came Chog stepped out of hiding and attacked Rhycan. Even with
the townguards attacking him he still fought on against Rhycan and with
the last of his energy killed Rhycan in Ofcol with a quick slash but with
the townguards still after him he recalled back to Valour. There he
rested and Rhycan left the realms.
***Jalkut vs Thermus***
This fight started when Jalkut attacked Thermus to get in to the tavern.
Rinadi who was ill prepared started attacking and they ended up running
to the outside of the town. Rinadi was gravely wounded and Jalkut
struck the final blow killing Rinadi. At the death of Rinadi two little evil
looted almost everything from the corpse, and their names are Xudis,
and Larashka. After stealing all they could Rinadi came back and got
what little was left.
***Chog vs Ashr***
Chog has told me of his battle with Ashr, and i was there for some of the
earlier battles as well. After manye times of Chog attacking Ashr and the
interuptions from Rhycan and Nythien he got Ashr down to pretty hurt.
Ashr fled to his hometown and there he rested. After a while he came
back and Chog yet again attacked. Ten or eleven times Chog has gotten
Ashr near death and Ashr has always recalled or Teleported to safty. But
Chog looking for the necromancer found him in the Holy grove.
Unsanc'ed and sleeping Chog walked in and attacked him and nearly
killed him outright a small chase but he went into the void unable to flee
or recall Chog used a mighty overhead attack and killed Ashr.
***Dobwyn vs Larieb***
Moo have write current vent, but moo not know current vent, so
nervous herald tell moo moo write bout fight. Moo wait all day and moo
see war fight. ' Moo see fight tween Dobwyn and Larieb. Moo try very
hard last sent write whole name, moo proud moo. Fight star Dob kick
dirt Lar face, Lar not see. Fight seem go even, then Lar get little angry
start hurt Dob. Then Lar get very angry start hurt Dob lot, and then Dob
nice fuzzy aura go away and Dob die very fast. When Dob almost dead,
Lar pull off Dob head. Moo not want fight war, not want get head pulled
off if moo lose. Lar also show only half dead when Dob die. Moo think
maybe Dob wear weapon next time fight, maybe Dob do better.
(Continued in battles3)
Taurek versus Chog
I didn't catch a whole lot of this fight, but what I saw was appalling. It
mostly looked like Chog being all power-hungry and evil in trying to
destroy a poor, helpless stone giant. Here's what happened:
Taurek saw Chog in town, went over and tickled him with a dark dagger
of voodoo. Taurek ran away and said he was sorry, and also that he was
bored. Chog noticed that Taurek had some nice bracelets and a portable
hole, so Chog's greed turned him into a Legionnaire for a bit. Instead of
letting the whole thing blow over, Chog followed Taurek ruthlessly
through the realm and hacked away at him, bit by bloody bit.
Once the "Knight" managed to kill the cute little giant, I thought it would
all be over. However, I hid behind a corner and watched as Chog started
rubbing the dead giant's blood and guts all over himself. I thought it was
pretty strange that he was drooling and laughing like an idiot the whole
time, but I thought maybe this was some new Knight ceremony like a
tainted sacrifice. In any case it severely creeped me out.
The end result was that Taurek came back, pleading for forgiveness and
mercy from this so-called "Champion of Valour", but in the end he was
turned away. I even think I recall some spitting being involved
somewhere. Not a very pleasant display, especially for the Knights of
Valour. Nobody's safe anymore.
Legion versus Squire
Minding my own business when I heard a terrible cry come from the
halls of Valour. In the back of my mind, I knew exactly what this meant,
but I had to find out the details of the event.
Elayseth, a shaman of Legion, and Arathan, a Squire of Knights had
engaged in battle and although it was not long lived, the ending was
devastating to the Knights, as Elayseth delivered a powerful blow taking
not only Arathan's life, but also his eteranl soul. Upon my interviewing
the shaman, he spoke of his tactics. He kept the berserker from healing
and thus after stacking his many, many, many prayers, he was
outdamaging the more hearty Arathan. Then as quick as the ranger
snaps his bow, rage set in on Arathan, leaving him a sitting duck in front
of the healer of darkness.
As Elayseth picked through the fallen Squire's clothing, he felt his power
grow as the Squire left this realm forever, leaving the Knights and those
who depend on them, in peril.
Perhaps Rigwarl and Ronus have found a minion of worth.
(Continued in battles4)
Today, Voravith attempted to kill me while I was ranking in the Tainted
Valley. He failed miserably. Soon, Elayseth joined him, and they
together attempted to fight me. I worded as blindness dust settled in,
but Maelein stayed in the conflict - she was in range as well. Maelein
fell, and the Legion soon came to seek the cabal. Being foolish, I made
the decision to confine Voravith within the cabal, forgetting that such
prevents special guards from assisting. Kallia expelled Elayseth fairly
quickly, and I was dusted so I could not see nor leave. I eventually
fell there, and Voravith went to pay off his flag. Elayseth soon
followed suit, or so the story goes, but at the same moment, Maelein
attacked in town, that is what Kallia's report discusses.
My opinion, on the matter, is that if Maelein were to be uninducted from
Heralds for retribution and lashing out against the Legionnaires, then
it would be a most sorrowful and tragic day. Heralds deserve their
vengeance against those who completely disregard the Iron Fist.
Nydoredus the Shaman
So there I was...
Minding my own business in the Emerald Forest talking to animals and
training my axe on nymphs and dryads and I one of them hurt me pretty
good. I took a break to regain my strength and weather out a storm that
was quickly approaching. Immediately after the passing of the storm, my
usual artwork on my skin began glowing. Acting swiftly I ran into the
woods in order to figure out the catalyst of my radiating skin.
After a quick survey it became increasingly evident that the newest
Legionare Elayseth had turned its eyes on me. I returned to protect my
forest and after a few rounds of combat and Elayseth crawling around, he
ran into the witch sisters whom were not as kind as I. He fell dead and
I will wash his corpse and bury it in the forest.
The battles were not extremely well faught on either end. Maelein,
Restorator of Knowledge and Truth
(Continued in battles5)
Knights vs. Zeahne
I didn't see how this started exactly, but I came around to see the two
Knights both marked as intruders. I saw Zeahne was around, so I figured
I knew what the story was. Sure enough, both Knights are intruding the
Justice cabal, trying to kill the Justice that doesn't have any allies.
After they finally get tired of waiting for Zeahne to walk into a
suicide trap, they decide to run outside, where Zeahne initiates combat.
Chog took the chance to blind Zeahne with dirt, and this made it easy
for Chog to continue beating on the Justice until he was nothing but a
bloody corpse. Several of his things were taken or destroyed, but he got
Three cheers for Valour. They know how to play the odds. Maybe we should
invite them for poker.
Gleefully yours, Belbris
(Continued in battles6)
Poker Report - Maelein
So there I was... Minding my own business when all of a sudden I was
challenged.... to a a poker game. Belbris, the bungling burgler was the
victim in this instance as I walked away with over four times what I
went in with. He lay on the ground, drunk, complaining, and broke. All
in all, it was a pretty flawless victory on my part. Maelein, Winner of
Lots of Gold
Master of Death
So there I was... Minding my own business in the Tavern in Timaran
looking for the Herald Guidelines, that seem to have gone missing by the
way, when all of a sudden out of no where, a necro name Ulthers or
something attacked me. I couldn't believe it. So for a second. I just
stood confused, angry, a bit hungry, and slightly sick to my stomach.
Then before I knew it, instinct set in. I closed the door behind me and
put the stomping on him. It was a quick boring battle and not really
worth reporting, but I have another five hundred hours of hex to wait
2) Current Events
***YOUNGEST ACROBAT ALIVE***
Infamous ladiesman and sweet talker Sylth has become the youngest Serin
to best the Circus. He proudly flashed full set of trophies before
amazed crowds. The word of his feat is spreading rather quickly (as he
is telling about it to Just about anyone he runs into). As to how did
the young acrobat overcome the dangers of deadly attractions at tender
rank of twenty seven is a mystery still.
Herald tell moo write current vent. Herald tell moo ask Niu about
current vent. Niu tell moo poker current vent, so moo watch poker. Poker
player clued Niu, nervous herald, squishy couple, Tree, and Old Stormy.
Nervous herald very good poker, and win three rounds row. Wind blows out
squishy couple have no gold. Moo think funny squishy couple lose all
gold three rounds. Tree then get very lucky win with three same card,
two in hands. Wind blow out Niu. Old stormy leave game some time, moo
not sure when, but moo sure stormy not lose gold. Not lose all gold, moo
means. Then only nervous herald and tree left in game. Game go back
forth tween nervous herald and tree, moo always think one bout lose,
then one win stead. Game go very very long, and moo bored. Moo not count
good, but moo think game go one million rounds. Then tree win in end,
and nervous herald blown by wind. Niu say tree get special quest for
win. Moo very bored, so moo very happy game over. Moo now think poker
boring, but then moo not know why so many like poker. Maybe only Niu
***A NEW COTERIE?***
Yes, Heralds there is a new coterie in Serin. I have created it, and I
am inducting members in my free time. I am even generous enough to do
this without being a part of the group myself. They are called the
Here is the "wilts" present membership: - Noliperus - Niubawn - Olem
To become a wilt, just leave the lands to avoid getting killed. The
leader of this group is Noliperus, and I am sure you will understand
why. I will keep you updated on who else turns out to be a wilt.
If you don't know what a wilt is, you probably shouldn't be a Herald.
(Continued in events2)
***NOBILITY LIVES ON***
Today, I finally got to speak with a Noble! It was my first encounter
with one. It is not because they hide, but it is because there is only
one left. The one who I spoke with, and possibly the last standing
Noble, goes by the name of Dorimos. There might be one other about,
going by the name of Miryia, but Dorimos knew not. He is currently
trying to recruit some other Serins and I have decided to help him in
his Valiant cause! In the next Mystique, Dorimos and myself will be
placing an add for new recruits! Once Dorimos and myself have a formal
sit down to discuss what shall be scribed, I will send it to ye all!
Happily Scribed, Niubawn the Keeper of Heralds & Hammy the Herald
***Gokah the Renegade***
Gokah the aspiring squire brazenly broke the law and for that he was
wanted. But was his rampage at an end there?! Oh no, and let me tell you
not only did he not flee before wrath of the Justice he fought back.
Such unheard of act of sheer violence led to unfortunate death of
Norder. Halls of Justice announced a bounty on his head. Not much later
the same rascal tried to assist Jonus, yet another diehard criminal, in
escape from aforementioned officer Norder. Opportunity for sweet payback
presented itself and Norder took it quite literally claiming the Gokah's
Just another day in the law enforcement.
***Niubawn has some troubles with Justice***
He is warranted again, this time because I caught him attacking a guild
guardian. Rather than turn himself in, he just stood in the cavern of
witch sisters, to prevent his capture. If Kallia had not arrived, I
doubt Justice would have apprehended him. He is near a common criminal
now. All because somebody needed assistance in the thief guild I guess.
That's the usual reason for his flags. I'll have to investigate this
further.. I wasn't aware Pasha and Faulkner were into ass wiggling...
***WHY ARE THE WARLORD HALLS CLOSED TO NEWCOMERS?***
So the Warlords have closed their halls temporary, as you all have
heard. But why, one might ask? Well, after talking with Hammy, we have
come up with some full proof reasoning. The first, yet most unlikely, is
that their halls are far too packed. No doubt they do not wish to have
many Warlords Who would they have to fight at the final ranks? Having a
one to one ratio between Warlords and the rest of Serin is insane! It is
like only having one bottle of beer to every Serin! I could not live in
a world like that! The most obvious reason to why they are closing their
halls-they will run out of alcohol in their halls if there were any more
Warlords! That, and there are just to many men in those halls Something
could be a little interesting about these boys! To much alcohol, no
women Eek! Half of them never come out of their halls too. Keep this in
mind in your own evaluation!
Well, I am sorry to ramble on, just thought I would share with you all
what Hammy and myself think!
Scribed, Niubawn the Oh So Handsome Ranger, Keeper of Heralds & Hammy
the Herald Protector
(Continued in events3)
There was a time when Heralds and Warlords had a symbiotic relationship.
The Warlords would duel their duels against skilled fighters or mages
and the Heralds would scribe the battles for all the world to see.
Occasionally there would be a Herald who was as much fighter as scribe,
then they would be both the subject and author of the duels. Never
before have I been more offended by a Warlord. Norbus requested a duel
with me. Shocked that he might think me a worthy opponent, I refused. He
is a young Warlord and does not know me very well, so for some time I
argued with him, maintaining that I would not fight him. Thus I was very
shocked that he would challenge me, and then initiate. With Miss Melenn
at my side, I ran to the dragon tower, much hurt from the damage he had
Never before have I had reason to fear Warlords. It has been a dark day.
I'm really, really sorry that I challenged Miss Herald Jyra. I know it
was stupid of me, but I make lots of stupid mistakes! I wanted to
practice against somebody with magic training, and Jyra was the only one
around that I could fight with after Kallia left.
I've been a really bad boy today, and I don't have any honor. I'm gonna
fix that right now though, and hopefully when I'm gone Miss Herald Jyra
can learn to trust and feel safe around the rest of you Warrior Lords
from now on!
I didn't mean to cause any problems, and I really am sorry! Please don't
be mad at me!
Good luck, Warrior Lords! The Sethronus will show you better ways to
YOUR OPINIONS HEARD *******************
***WHAT'S FOR DINNER?***
Moo want do what herald say, herald say moo go moo research. Herald say
moo research favorite foods, so that what moo do. Moo ask five people
moo question, moo write answers now.
First moo ask people favorite kind of cud, but then moo think maybe moo
confuse what cud mean. Moo very young and only ever ate cud, moo think
any food can be make cud, but maybe moo wrong, so moo say food instead.
First moo question is what favorite food. Second moo question is where
get food. Third moo question is why like food.
First moo ask Kederina, Kederina is little thing with tree skin that
moos like moo.
Kederina answers: 1, I get food because I'm hungry...I make my own
steaks, and my favorite food is eyeballs. 2, From hitting people too
hard on the head I think. 3, They're delightfully squishy.
Moo ask Olem. Olem dwarf not talk like others.
Olem answers: 1, I only ber eatin' my own magical mushrooms. 2, Olem
commune ter the gods fer mushrooms and thin's. 3, Ther food of ther
Moo then ask Clawron. Clawron shaman give moo boring answers.
Clawron answers: 1, Always been good beef. 2, From Hyando the butcher in
Seringhale. 3, Because it fills me up and lasts long. Clawron also
mention Like mushrooms.
Moo then ask Setha. Setha evil bird help rank moo.
Setha answers: 1. I like bread. I also like mice, but they aren't always
around. 2, Timaran. 3, Because bread tastes good, and it fills me up.
Moo last ask Noliperus. Noliperus bird in squishy couple with drow.
Noliperus answers: 1,2, I suppose it would be a plate of lamb slices
from the restaurant in the traveler's rest. 3, I enjoy the flavor.
Noliperus also mention mushrooms, moo think.
Moosummary- Moo see many different favorite foods. Moo see food comes
from many different places and is many different kinds. But moo notice
everyone like food make them all full and stay full long. Moo think
people pick filly food that tastes good. Moo self likes cud. Moo makes
own cud when moo pulls grass from ground with mouth. Moo done with moo
***A Growing Problem.***
Greetings good readers. I write this piece to share my concerns in
regards to Serin's mage guilds. Much to my dismay, I have been
encountering fewer and fewer Magi in the course of my travels and
adventures. Those that I do meet more often than not seem to be more
concerned with the politics of Good and Evil. Too many Magi are treating
Magic as a mere tool instead of the life blood that it is. As Serin's
Magi drift from the true nature of Magic the more likely they become of
losing their connection with it altogether.
I implore you, my brethren, do not allow the superficial concerns of
Good and Evil or Law and Chaos to cloud your connection to the Ether.
The trials and tribulations of many before you have granted you this
supreme privilege. Your abilities are unique. No Gods grants you your
spells. Through your own work and study have you gained your power. Do
not squander it on petty concerns. We Magi have a greater purpose. The
arts of war will not unlock the greater secrets of the Realms. Only
through Magic will this be done.
It is time for us to resume our proper course and leave behind these
superficial concerns. Join me, fellow students, and let us secure the
future of the Magi in Serin.
(Continued in opinions2)
YOUR OPINIONS HEARD CONT ************************
***How are the current Heralds?***
I took it upon myself to gather the opinions of several Serin's in
regard to how they thought of our current lot of Heralds.
An Immortal- Heralds are bothersome.
Rinadi- to Be HonNneZszt, ii dOoN'T ghIve tHem mmmuCh ThOught AhT ahll..
Jaran- Oh... well I think they seem to be doing a good job... I think...
Kederina- Well...I like them very much, they are a lively bunch. But I
haven't seen much writing from them other than what's in the archives.
Hargan- Me thoughts? Dunnae see many o' them around. Bilin's a good
friend o' mine though, lass.
Rigwarl- They need to cooperate more.
Sturn- Love 'em.
Zarat- They usually don't cause trouble, so they're Ok in my opinion.
Elaedon- Makes life more lively, that's for sure.
Jerares- Boot Bilin and Niubawn. The rest don't concern me.
Noliperus- Well, there is one that I like very much... 'The others,
hmm... Niubawn and Bilin are quite entertaining to adventure with. Jyra,
she is a delight and very bemusing. I adventured the other day with
Nyrah and she seemed agreeable, though we did not have much of a chance
to converse, particularly, with Melenn accusing me of sexism at every
turn. As for Derangea I have hardly had a chance to speak with her...she
seems to think quite highly of herself and that rabbit. Not a fault, per
say, but an interesting characteristic. And then there is Z....Zol...--I
cannot remember his name...
That gnome. He seems interesting, I should like to converse with him
sometime, though his taste in pies is questionable. I am fortunate to
count many of the Heralds as my friends.
Szerit- Hmmm, well, I believe their cause is a noble one, and I believe
that mine own.. not quite fear of.. but perhaps, tendency to avoid
fighting is suitable for Heralds, so I appreciate that part of the
So, are the Heralds being Heraldic enough for the Serins of today? It
appears that we have been doing enough for the public to at least have
an opinion of us, for the most part that is. It was pleasant to hear the
positive comments on our conduct. With a group so heavily involved with
forming a constructive relationship with the many personalities of
Serin, big or small, good or evil, knowing that we have not made
complete fools of ourselves is rewarding.
However, we could be producing more as a whole, and not relying on the
few individuals that we do now. With our comparatively large roster, one
would think we would be running off Mystiques daily. The Heralds have as
much work expected out of them as any Cabal even if it is disguised as
ale and words instead of blood and death. But still we produce
Mystiques, and the public has not completely turned against us. With a
bit of reshaping, and a small taste of motivation, the Heralds could be
restored to what they should be. Respected authors, and the true voice
of the people.
STORY TIME **********
It was a dark and stormy night... At least it was dark... And the victim
was a Storm Knight. His name was Waof and he was the best Stormy Knight
to be found this side of Serin. Unfortunately, some no good, low down
hooligan thought so too.
In the dark of the night, a small shape slipped out of the shadows and
made his way towards the nest where Waof was sleeping. Oblivious to his
danger, the giant rolled over onto his back, his arm nearly crushing the
assassin as it crashed to the ground. One definitive snore, however and
the hunter was reassured that he was in no danger.
Light-footed as he was, he followed the giant's immense body up to his
head where he looked upon the face of his one time bully. This, he
decided, was going to be more than the simple fulfillment of a contract.
He would make sure that this giant was never allowed to pick on anyone
His knives flew, one through each of Waof's eyes and another through his
throat, making his face into a horrible parody of what it once was.
Limbs were sawed off the inert body and tossed into the surroundings,
his heart, lungs and liver were torn from his remains and boiled over
the assassin's fire later that night.
Nobody had ever been killed as thoroughly. As much as his spirit tried,
for it wasn't Waof's time to die, it could not recollect his body enough
to make it suitable to live in again. With one final call of 'Waof
Smash!' he ascended into the heavens above, never to be heard from
Herald tell moo write moo story. Moo want write story of moo come
Timaran from Mahn-Tor. Story begin with little moo history. Moo born in
Mahn-Tor, with other moos. When moo grow, moo find writings and drawings
in home. Moo try read. Take moo long, but moo learn read all by moo.
Then moo find pencil and moo write. Moo try write thoughts, but moo not
have many thoughts. Moo friends not read or write. Moo friends get angry
and headbutt. Moo parents say reading and writing make moo small and
weak. Moo should get angry and headbutt. Moo not want get angry and
headbutt, so moo parents mean and take moo pencil away. Moo sad so moo
leave home. Moo want find Timaran, hear moo can read and write in
Timaran. When moo first leave home, tree get in way of moo. Moo angry at
tree (Moo not like get angry, but moo not always help moo) and try
charge tree. Moo want tree fall but moo hit head and hurt head. Tree not
hurt. Moo think tree stronger than moo, so moo not charge tree anymore.
Moo walk farther find bunches tiny homes. Tiny homes have tiny gnomes
inside. Moo think went wrong way so moo turn round. When moo turn round
moo hear SQUISH. Moo look down see step on gnome. Moo think little
things very squishy, so moo careful where step now. Then moo find
Timaran, moo happy. Moo start ranking, hear people not listen moo much
if moo not rank 20. Moo start ranking then God kidnaps moo. God say
moo-mind says moo needs new moo name. Moo name was Moooooo. Moo try tell
God Moooooo is moo name. Moo tell God when moo parents want Moo
attention, moo parents yell 'MOOOOOO' so moo think moo name Moooooo. God
tell moo moo must think of new name. Moo not good at think, only good at
angry, so moo need think very long time. Moo remember moo parents gave
moo bracelet say Calram on it. God say Calram moo name. That how moo
(Continued in story2)
STORY TIME CONT ***************
What's funnier than a dead Herald? A dead Herald in a clown costume.
What's the difference between a dead Herald and a trampoline? When you
jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A Herald with a
How do you stop a Herald falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through
What's more fun that strapping a Herald to a clothesline and then
spinning it around? Stopping it with a shovel.
I smiled in the sunlight. Around me the summer was coming to fullness,
and I laughed. The thought of the coming battles excited me. Although I
love being a scribe, inside me the beast hungers for battle. I laughed
as I drew my blade. In front of me, hundreds of warriors cried out in a
battle rage. I had brought with me The skills I had honed in Serin. As I
led my army, I called the roar of the tiger and brought my blade to the
fore as I charged forward into the battle, morphing into my tiger form.
I roared a bestial roar and brought my sword to a human's throat,
ripping his head from his body in a welter of gore and blood. Bringing
my free claws around, I tore the chest of another apart, roaring in a
bestial rage. The battle raged on for weeks as our armies clashed with
the armies of a darker force. They sought to instill terror in the
populace of the surrounding areas. Blade met axe and arrow met armor as
the armies flailed and faltered. It seemed near impossible, but my army
had come victorious from the battle. My men, what few remained, and I
were covered in blood and gore. We stepped from the field of battle and
returned to our homes. While I recovered from my grievous wounds, I knew
I had to return to Serin for what time i could to do what I could to
help its people. Now here I am, a warrior sheathing his sword and
drawing his quill once more.
***UNDERAPPRECIATED MED AND WOMEN OF THERA***
In the last issue of 'Unappreciated,' we honored a young woman who
dedicated all her time to her great city and the people who serve it.
This time I took a more local approach. Existing peacefully alongside
rangers and other forest dwellers is a tiny farming village, often
raided by youngling evils of Serin. Within this community, several small
families live and die, marry and reproduce, plant and reap a harvest.
They wake up at the crack of dawn and the hard work starts immediately.
The smallest of these workers is a young boy, nameless to passing
Serins, but called Dulun by his kin. I first saw him coming out of the
hen-house, thin scratches marring his arms, which carried an oversized,
egg filled basket. "Can't talk now," he explained to me quickly, running
past, and nearly spilling his load in the process. "Mama'd switch
me...I'll meet you by the hay stack."
An hour later, I bent with the boy, a heavy shovel in my hand as we
spread the bedding around, I got a chance to speak with this young
helper. Born the fourth of five children, he never lacked playmates when
he was younger, but as the years passed and his friends grew, they were
one by one put to work weeding and cutting and sorting. Torn between
trying to play with his new baby sister and trying to help out, the
strapping young man carried his hoe to the field and promptly dropped on
His foot bandaged and bloody, the boy returned the next day, only to be
turned away from the toolshed to carry the seeds to the 'real' farmers.
In time his foot healed, and the boy took himself to the fields again.
Still banned from the toolshed, he was resigned to the mind-numbing
chore of cleaning the cotton. Unfortunately, his hand slipped as he
nearly severed his finger.
Now he spends his days doing whatever little jobs get handed down to
him, but This doesn't mar his willingness to work. We finished covering
the floor and he waved to me before limping back to his mother. The
shovel had landed hard on both his feet, but one more heavily than the
other. The young man would grow into a fine member of society if he was
given a chance, but his family and all of Serin looks on him with
nothing more than a note of pity. The boy gives his all into everything
he does, and it is that which distinguishes him from the rest of
society-for the better.
RECENT DEATHS *************
Revaqin was a human Invoker and a Knight of Valour. While his skill with
the Arcane arts and subduing the Evils of Serin was never in question,
this tall man suffered greatly when forced into social situations. He
preferred a life of recluse, speaking only through cards or by spelling
out what he had to say magically. Regardless of his discomfort, Revaqin
never backed down from a fight or a request from a younger Knight or
Squire for aid. He was a good man, and will be missed sorely by the
Waof was a Storm giant Berserker who was admitted into Knights only a
short time before his premature passage from life into death. While he
was alive, he was a formidable fighter, but like Revaqin, he also
suffered a speech problem. As he grew more exposed to the more civilized
population of Serin, Waof learned more words besides his name and
'smash' and our own heralds even taught him how to write. You will be
Jerares the Evil King, a Justice by profession, a dark-night through and
through, has recently departed, never to terrorize Serin's criminals
again. With his harsh attitude and readiness to punish, Jerares made an
excellent Justice and an interesting person to speak with. Several found
his ways abrasive and therefore not very pleasant, but he will be missed
by people I'm sure. All Justices are if they halfway decent at keeping
the peace, and Jerares certainly had that potential.
Bilin the Historian was a Half-elf bard full of life and energy. He
recently passed away after a decent time spent as a fun-loving Herald.
With an outgoing personality, and a love for drinking, Bilin made a
wonderful socialite, but he also worked hard. He had a very commanding
attitude that served its purpose as a fine contributor for the halls he
chose to grace. May his name live on in the writings he produced and the
hearts he touched.
I scribe on a sad note of a close friend to all of Serin. Rayor, the
unofficial High Patron of Serin has parted from his mortal body. He was
a very jolly stone giant who had a heart of gold. He befriended everyone
with a tip of the hat and a cheers from his favorite goblet of brew.
Pork, his loyal kestrel companion, always loved to try and out drink
Rayor. Rayor even earned a reputation as a lover of ale. He participated
in many Herald events, enlisted many a patrons, and protect many. His
heart of gold matched his fist of iron. His record with the warlords was
nearly untouchable. This man was feared by murderers and praised by all.
We hope to see your spirit in the tavern. You will be missed, our dear
Norbus was a Warlord of slightly questionable honor, but unmatchable
skill. He never backed down from a fight, and it was his blood lust that
eventually gave him a bad reputation. While the Warlords might not miss
this impulsive man, it is regretable that he will not have a chance to
redeem himself. Good luck with what awaits you in the Ether. May it not
be too horrible.
(Continued in obituaries2)
RECENT DEATHS CONT ******************
Amirlith, the Guardian of Valour, was a fine elven Knight. He followed
his cause with a pristine vigor that was very endearing. Greatly skilled
in the ways of combat, he was the most experienced Knight left in the
halls before his recent departure. He was a splendid mage and a
wonderful leader. His excellent guidance and gallantry will be missed.
Qualieth was a young lady who passed at the young age of twenty two. She
was a storm giant berserker and was a lady of the cross of Valour. She
was a kind lady, yet showed no kindness to those who walked with the
dark. Many women who walk in Serin can only hope to be half of what
Qualieth was, since not many women have the fortitude to join such an
elite fighting force such as the Knights of Valour. She worked hard at
cleansing the realms, and was good at it. Qualieth will be missed.
Iuvul was a legionnaire full of ambition. He left the realms at his
final rank believing that the world was not quite ready for his power.
He was an Illithid illusionist, surely a breed to be feared. He had a
love of money and a love for his fellow legion members. For those who
were under the legions protection, they came to find out that he is
quite a talker. Yet they also knew that he had a love for money, as he
extorted all of their gold. None the less, he was a great man and a fine
Dorimos was one of the few remaining nobles in the lands. He selflessly
served the Knights of Valour from the sidelines providing what axillary
spells he could and offering a moral compass. Some what reserved, this
elf was not well- known beyond the city of Valour, but like a rock
thrown on a calm lake, his actions reached to the ends of Serin. The
Knights will mourn your passing.
Guthfar was a young halfling who found himself a member of Heralds for a
good part of his life. During that time, he was an acclaimed author and
worthy friend who inspired trust, despite the calling of his guildhall.
He grew into an older halfling and lost the energy he had as a youth. He
requested to be retired from Heralds, and with a heavy heart we let him
go. All of Serin mourns your passing.
Riem was a young Knight of Valour. He was well liked by him comrades and
but he commanded respect from his enemies. You have to respect someone
who holds your life in their hands. He often ran afoul of Justices and
he sought to do his Knightly duties, but their harsh rebukes did nothing
to slow him. Nothing could. The Evils of Serin rest more assuredly in
their beds now that you have passed, and the rest of Serin mourns.
Nak was shaman Justice. Nak was lil evil roundie, not like water. Nak
not scariest Justice, get killed lots, but try hard. Justice lead see
Nak try very hard, promote Nak to Sarj. Then Nak round long time, stop
many crime. But bad thing happen, Nak go crazy bring chaos to world,
till God stop Nak. Moo think shame Nak gone, less people tect Justice
A Letter - scribed by Maelein
A transcription of the final letter of Chlor the Mistress of War, Stalwart
I have come to learn and understand many things in my short twenty nine
and a half years of living in this adventurous land. First and foremost,
I have come to believe that self sufficiency is the most important
factor that anyone should hope to ascertain in this land. That is not to
say that individuals will not at times need help from others, but that
knowledge both in combat and academia prepare a person for the many
different challenges that you may face throughout your lives. In my
final hours, I have been meditating on my life and the many twists and
turns that it has taken. I remember the unbelievable weight of the first
sword I ever wielded, the smell of my grandfather, Poaint, and the day
he sent me on my way to study under Nevros. From him I learned above all
patience and I realized the responsibility that I was now the
beneficiary of. Timaran would be my final home and I moved there upon my
eighteenth birthday. There I trained every day. I mastered skills and
eventually the Lord Master We Sethronu took notice and invited me to the
Fortress. I of course accepted and began an even more extensive training
regiment. Wooden swords turned into dangerous weapons and many lessons
that I learned included scars and blood. Then internal politics changed
my life forever. Master Nychlas and I came to extreme crossroads in our
definition of the term honor and as he led, in rank, I was forced to
leave the Warlords and my home. At the time, I was very dejected with
what occurred and if I said that there were not times I thought about
ending it all, I would be lying. I reevaluated my life and I even sent a
messenger to the Heralds offering my services, however, my life was
destined for battle. My rage for Master Nychlas eventually turned into
an eternal flame of reestablishing myself in the Halls of Honor and
restoring the name that I had spent many long years building. Hours of
fighting, praying, and coming close to loosing my mind brought me face
to face with desperation and despair. Constant questioning by Lord
Master We Sethronu on what I had learned and why I carried on brought on
extreme frustration forcing me to work even harder to restore my name.
Then one day almost as quick as I was removed, I was restored. This made
me the first and only person to ever be restored back into the Warlords
after being removed. I was readmitted even though many of my useful
skills were kept from me. Never the less I carried on and once again my
persistence was rewarded. The first time was by Lord Master Sethronu, by
teaching me my battle stance again, and the second was by Supreme Lord
Master Resatimm whom returned me all of my lost battle skills and named
me as a his Stalwart. Regaining my honor and having Supreme Lord Master
Resatimm even acknowledge my existence were the greatest achievements of
my life. I will not claim by any means claim to be one of the greatest
Warlords, but my work ethic and persistence in chasing the things I
sought out of my life have left a mark in the halls of Warlords, and
hopefully the annals of Serin History.
This shall be the last few strokes that I ever leave on a scroll and
with them, I leave you with this. No one can ever truly defeat you but
yourself. Take the lessons taught peacefully or learned in battle, and
apply them to your future and I promise that one of these days you will
find yourself among the greatest that have roamed these realms.
I shall await you in the afterlife.
Chlor the Mistress of War, Stalwart of Resatimm
A Lament - Sylth
The doors of the fortress of war have closed. For good it seems. Not
that it means there will be no wars, Stryth forbid! And oh, folk will
still duel, so who will really miss them big fellas with their big
swords and big axes? Right now you might read or hear how there will no
longer be such a warrior as Brakis or Vrakka, that no one will go as mad
as Taraith. Such laments deserve a truly special place. And that place
is right there at the bottom of the minotaur public relief facility,
side to side with other bull crap. The heap of rocks and wood they piled
up and called their own did not make them. The hatred for magic and its
use while perhaps one of their principles was not the essence of it. For
if the scrolls and elder mouths are to be believed warlords of old had
no much trouble keeping company of those utilizing mana to do their
bidding. That relationship had its ups and downs, twists and turns. In
what defines a Warlord their abilities as cabal have no say. So what
does it boil down to? Virtue. Yes, virtue, and no parting a wave with
your blade has nothing to do with it. You can't disband a virtue, you
can't tear it down, and sure as Abyss you cannot deny it to someone.
Virtue is something that comes from within. It's seed rides the winds of
Serin seeking an event, a moment which will allow for it to plant within
us. It is up to us to nurture it, and bring it to prominence. Warlords
put their beliefs at their core. They sacrificed a lot to attain that
which they strive for. Oh, hey! But that is what many do in order to
fullful their goals? Catching on! To say that every Warlord was a
paragon of honor is calling every Herald avathar of liteRAsy! To keep
this short for your feeble attention spans... All you prophets calling
an end of an era Warlords were there long before the colorful
truncheons, and fancy sword tricks, and they will be here long after
their halls are scrapped for gravel. You are just too blind to recognize
them without their WARLORD team apparel and power.
A Very Dated Update - Maelein
The Immortal We Sethronu, along with the following soldiers, Larieb,
Norbus, Naurisahn, Milathara, Nimysh, Vrakka, and Hargan all took their
lives after or shortly before the disbanding of Serins most honorable of
cabals, The Warlords. The Warlords former glory has been survived by
Lupenal, Grunit, and Latamire as they continue to live their lives
walking a fine line of retaining their former glory and not cowering
from the combat they used enjoy more than life itself. Their fortified
halls have crumbled and all that remains is a dilapidated sign warning
adventurers of fierce foes that no longer exists. They say with death
comes something even better reborn.
I pray, that for once, they are correct.
Mushrooms: A guest work by Zarat
Have I ever told you how much I love mushrooms? Best food ever, in my
opinion. I can't remember when I ate my first mushroom, probably got it
from a paladin or an invoker when I was very young. But oh, that was
after I came to the realms now, old mom never made them for me, said
that fungus was bad for you. Oh, but I did love those mushrooms, free
too! I ate a good lot of mushrooms too, in my journeys through the
realms. Just can't beat 'em. I suppose my most memorable mushrooms were
Olem's and Noliperus's, they just seemed the most filling of all. Anyone
agree? Jonus had pretty good ones too. Oh, and sorry Jyra, but it takes
two of your mushrooms to satisfy. I spent probably ten or more years in
the realms, happily eating mushrooms all day long, untill I had somewhat
of a disturbing conversation about them with Grunky. Well, Grunky, as
the oldest Justice there is, and maybe the oldest mortal in Serin, knows
a thing or two about mushrooms. In fact, he probably has the record for
eating them. Well, point is, if you've ever talked to Grunky you
probably noticed he's a bit... Off. But one day he enlightened me with
the reason! His brain was full of mush, he said, from eating too many
mushrooms. He was trying to warn all the young justices to stay away
from mushrooms, lest they're brains be filled with mush. I, he said, may
be too late. I think I tried a mushroom boycott for a while, but...
They're SO GOOD! Oh, I do spoil myself too much...
- Zarat (Davairus, I hope this was long and boring enough for you)
Interview about Warlords
Since Jyra's been pushing for more interviews about the Warlords and
people's opinions about them, I decided to go right to the best source I
could think of that still exists which would be able to tell me the most
about the Warlords. After stepping past the Juggernaut at the arena
entrance in Timaran, I finally found the perfect interviewee for
questions about the Warlords: the arena floor.
Belbris: So then, floor. You've been pretty intimate with countless
Warlords across the ages. You've seen hundreds of battles, if not
thousands. You've been bled upon, spat upon, kicked, trampled on, had
weapons dropped on you, and who knows what else. How would you rate your
experiences throughout the years?
B: Right, I can see how emotional this must be. Take your time.
B: Okay, it must be more difficult to talk about than I imagined. Let's
move on. In all your years as a training ground for the Warlords, who
would you say was the greatest Warlord of all time?
B: Ah, right - don't want to offend anybody, so you're not going to
single any of them out. Good approach. I knew there was something classy
about you when I first met you. Real solid personality, and you seem
B: And modest too. That'll take you far. Moving on, however, I'd like to
get your opinion on Sethronu, the three-headed Immortal leader of the
Warlords who led them right before their final disbanding. What are your
thoughts on him?
B: Ooh, that's not a good sign. My mother used to say "If you don't have
any- thing nice to say, don't say anything at all." I guess you've heard
that one before too. So what about the last group of Warlords? How would
you rate their performance?
B: I was afraid of that. I've heard from a lot of people that, with a
couple of exceptions, most of the more recent Warlords didn't exactly
"shine" as examples of the ideal Warlord example. That's a little sad,
actually. I've just got one more question for you, if you've got the
B: Okay, great. I'll try to make this as quick as possible. What do you
feel will be the one thing that the Warlords will be remembered for,
even centuries from now?
B: Hmm, I see. Their quiet pride, that's probably a good choice. Well I
thank you for your time, floor. This has definitely been a productive
People Vs. Torkalen - Maelein
The inaugural case brought before The Peoples Court was, case #001, The
People Vrs. Torkalen. Melenn, a stunning defense lawyer, bravely
defended Torkalen in what was an uphill battle for her all the way.
Torkalen, as normal was stunk of goat which he tried to mask with an
even more grotesque smelling cologne. As Maelein, the judge, prosecutor,
and jury called court to order, it seemed to dawn on Melenn and Torkalen
that they were not going to walk out of the courtroom with a victory.
Melenn called for a mistrial based on the fact that Maelein would be
judge and jury, but Maelein overruled her protest arguing that Torkalens
inappropriate relationships with goats had gone on far too long
unpunished. Unfortunately for both Melenn and Torkalen, a goat that
spoke perfect Serin was called to the stand. As Melenn asked the goat
questions, it became more and more clear that some sort of improper
actions had been taken by Torkalen.
The goat was confused, scared, and walking funny. As the goat was
starting to really open up and fill in the details to the story,
Torkalen kept pointing his smiting finger, as he called it. Maelein
believed the finger to be threatening to the goat in other ways than
simply the lightening that came from it, so she warned Torkalen that if
he made another such outburst he would be instantly found guilty and
punished to the fullest. This silenced the bird long enough for Melenn
to finish her questioning and return to her seat.
Now it was the prosecutions turn to question the goat. Maelein went
straight to the heart of the matter and asked the goat the most
important question. Has Torkalen ever forced you, or your friends have
inappropriate relations with him. The goat still scared from the image
of the brown stained finger previously pointed at him simply nodded his
head yes. Torkalen and Melenn both enraged began shouting across the
courtroom. It was at this point that Maelein returned from the courtroom
floor to the judges tower to render both a judgment and a sentencing.
The decision was that since a group of twelve goats all stated that
Torkalen had violated the civil and sexual rights of the goats and
should therefore be punished for such. His continuing to violate the
rules of the courtroom also led to a judgment of Contempt of Court was
placed along with his crimes. Maelein thought long and hard about the
sentencing of Torkalen making sure that precedent was set, but she also
did not want to be to hard seeing as how after all he was a Bird Brain.
A total of forty hours community service along with twenty poem readings
and reviews was the sentencing for the sexual indiscretions. On top of
that, Torkalen was also made responsible for the building of a Private
Judges Chambers paid for by Torkalen and built in his own time. So ruled
the people in the Case #001 The People Vrs. Torkalen, convicted.
Case #001 CLOSED