The Serin Mystique, Volume 4, Issue 6|
Welcome to Volume 4, Issue 6 of the Serin Mystique, your guide to1) Battle Reports (see Battles, Battles2, Vampire)
everything you need to know about Serin. In this issue you will find
everything from a tragic poem to life and death battles to a recipe. Also,
we have a new section that will detail the sometimes brave, sometime
terrifying details behind the new reputations that some of the more
prominent Serins have nowadays.
On behalf of all the Heralds, I would like to wish you the utmost enjoyment
of your Serin Mystique. Any questions, requests or concerns may be
directed to Jyra or any other Herald. Any complaints may be directed to
There's something for everyone, but don't take my word on it, the sections
that you can 'LOOK' at are:
2) Gossip (see Gossip, Gossip2)
3) Reputations (see Repute, Repute2, MessyAnn)
4) Instruction (see Arguing, WhiskeyPie)
5) Creative Works (see Creative)
6) Cabal Affairs (see Cabals)
Your favorite Heralds
1) Battle Reports
Today I write you of an amazing, super, epic kind of battle!
This fight started out soon after I had given out Rigwarl's reputation
of being Ruthless. Here I was drinking myself into a stupor when all of
the sudden I hear the yells of Hepheus, the guardian of the Paladin
guild within Seringale. Now, soon after I ran as super, super quick as I
could to watch this fight take place, and it was something! Jonus went
on the offensive sending the wrath of the heavens down on Rigwarl!
Rigwarl shrugged it off, hobbling Jonus and taking over every advantage
he could. Jonus put up an amazing fight, using his orb that delivered
that magical attack, wounding the ever-so- ruthless, Rigwarl, to a great
extent. But that was not enough causing Rigwarl to be the victor of the
battle. The battle was fought amazingly on both sides, I must say!
-Artos the Miniature Drunkard
Moo was be all nice, sit in tavern, try read note, when mean legion name
Cythlan come tack moo in tavern. Moo try fight back, hurt legion bad,
then legion dispear. So moo go run legion town, find legion, tack
legion. Moo hurt legion bad gain, legion run way. So moo go rest far way
from legion town, when moo tack by legion gain. Legion make all kind
mean spell hurt moo, and then moo not able see, and moo not able hold
moo axe. Then legion flee fight, and since moo not see, moo not know
what hapnin. Moo also not able run no where. Then moo die.
Kavion vs. Cythlan
Seeing the battle through the eyes of Kavion, I was able to watch this
battle amazingly! Now, when I connected with Kavion he was resting up
from a previous scirmmish with Cythlan. At this moment Cythlan walked on
that Knight's Path and Kavion came a runnin! The battle was amazing to
watch. Cythlan deteriated Kavion's defenses, and Kavion then dispelled
the magic surrounding Cythlan. Casting hellstream then was destroying
Cythlan, and he retreated to cure himself up. Kavion did the same and
the battle continued without me being able to watch. I asked our
friendly noble Tenan what had happened, to hear the news that Kavion had
fallen and Cythlan prevailed.
-Artos the Miniature Drunkard
A Vampire's Defeat
If you ask most Serins what they're afraid of, they'll likely respond
with some of the same answers: starvation, flood, halfling Heralds -
those sorts of great dangers that threaten to overcome you when you
least expect it. However, one of the least spoken of terrors in Serin is
the one that is probably the most feared and respected of them all
(besides halfling Heralds), that being the vampire.
Recently I had the (mis)fortune of being assaulted by one of Serin's
darkest brood, the vampire called Wuilan. I was minding my own Heraldly
peace and all that, when suddenly from nowhere I saw a glimmer and a
flash as something very fast flashed past my eyes. Before I could even
blink, I was overcome by the greatest feelings of warm love and ecstacy
that I've ever felt. It was almost as if I had fallen into a great
whiskey vat and grown whiskey-gills.
Before I could relish the thought of being stuck in such a happy-happy
state forever, I lost my sight. I don't know what happened other than
that, but I was definitely shocked. Still, I really didn't care since I
felt so good. And boy, did I feel good. It wasn't until I got slapped by
someone's hand (who I expertly assumed to be Wuilan) that I finally
snapped out of it and realized that my life isn't anywhere NEAR that
happy and fulfilling, so I must have been dreaming.
I finally came to my senses and started running. Right, running without
being able to see where you're going is about the dumbest thing to do. I
had some gyvel potions, but stupid me had left them in my sack. Luckily
I must've felt some familiar rocks under my feet or something, since I
knew exactly where I was running to. Seringale, here I came. Went. Went?
I don't know.
So I got to Seringale and ran toward the smell of Thremus. You Heralds
and patrons know what I'm talking about. Once I got there, I hired a
bouncer to protect me incase that idiot Wuilan came running. For some
reason though, I didn't see him anywhere. Oh wait, that's right - I was
still blind. Finally I heard someone yelling that Wuilan was attacking
THEM instead of ME. While I don't normally wish bad things on people
(unless they're idiots and deserve it), I was a little happy when it was
someone else getting slapped and not me.
I sat there next to Thremus until I could see again, but when I could I
saw that Wuilan had died. I started looking around Seringale to see what
had happened, and I found Wuilan's corpse along the northern road.
Wondering what could've happened, I started asking around, only to find
out that the "someone" I had heard yelling was the dwarf Fanglin,
apparently another of Wuilan's "potential victims". Only this time,
Fanglin got the better of him.
Gathering what I could from Wuilan's corpse so he wouldn't be as big of
a threat anytime soon, I stood by and watched as Fanglin decided that
running would be a smart decision about that time. I had to agree, since
I was sure that Wuilan would come running (or flying, as those pesky
bats do) for the dwarf's hide fairly quickly.
All in all, I didn't get to see much of the action, even though I was
involved somewhat directly in it. I still think it was funny,
It seems like more and more vampires just end up getting burned when
they try to have their day in the sun. They should probably just try
relaxing. I mean, they have a lot more at stake than most other people
do. When they're out for blood, they end up looking like big suckers
more often than not. It's a little sad, I think. Maybe they just need a
Iii Lloohvee Bindar!
So here we are, sitting in the Taverns. Elaedon, Artos, Belbris, Hammy,
Snort, and myself! Drinking Merrily, laughing away. Then all of a
sudden, a man, who I have had yet to meet, entered the Taverns. His name
Bindar! Quite possibly the best man I have ever met! Well, at least the
best Legionnaire! So he walks in, all dark and scary and what not And he
is as friendly as a kitten! He also mad mention that he would never
disrespect the Taverns by fighting in such an establishment. That right
there made me happy enough! But after making a lot of small talk, he
made the grandest gesture.. He bought a round of whiskey for everyone in
the Tavern! Even Vikka! Pushing it one step further, he gave Artos 4,000
gold coins to put towards his bottle of Firebreather! After a bunch of
merry dancing, stupid jokes and what have you, Messian, one of the
Knights of Valour, had to come and RUIN the party! In conclusion to my
story, Bindar should be bought a drink. Hell, he should have the whole
bar bought for him! Get a couple a drinks in Ol Niubawn, and he is happy
as a peach!
Drunkenly Scribed, Niubawn the Oh So Drunk Ranger & Hammy the Herald
P.S. - Be sure to keep an eye out. Word on the street is that a very
attractive ranger, a Herald none the less, will be putting together a
poker tournament, just like the old days!
Moo was be nice little moo, not hurt none, try do quest in legion town.
Then legion name Bindar tell moo follow Bindar. Moo not know what doing,
guess legion want moo help gain rank or gain shiny armor. Then Bindar
bring moo knight town, moo not sure why there, then Bindar tell want moo
help tack Knights. Moo not help legion, legion almost die, run way. Then
Legion ver mad at moo, try order moo help. Moo fuse, Legion ventually
stop try, then legion go way. Moo think is dumb legion think get moo
help gainst knight, think maybe legion name Bindar need repute show how
Moo talk with Knight God
Big fire send scary note, so moo thought good idea get Knight God
Moo 'Moo wonder, is knight God read note from big fire?'
Groq 'Yes I have.'
Moo 'What Knight sponse to note?'
Groq 'That Legion will be crushed, they can't battle two fronts at the
same time and wish to survive. The Light all ways purges the Darkness.'
Moo 'Knight God think maybe all lil knights stop hide soon?'
Groq 'I'm not sure what they do if they keep hiding they will be
Moo 'God think see knight fight long side Justice in war wit mean
Groq 'We cannot fight with those that walk the path of Darkness within
Justice. We will fight by ourselves I believe and not interfere with the
Legion and Justice. If one that walks the middle path from the Justice
needs help I'm sure we will lend aid.'
Moo 'Moo hope knight make mean legion go way.'
Groq 'That is the plan I believe...'
Artos the Drunk
As anyone who is anyone (and sometimes it seems like there aren't that
many "anyones" around, just a bunch of "no ones") should know, the
Heralds have among them a great and powerful gnome. He's not really
powerful in the sense that I myself am powerful, with the whole
"mastered all abilities from every single guildhall in Serin"
background, but he's powerful all the same. One of the biggest areas of
Artos's strength is his tolerance. Not of stupidity (none of us can
really tolerate idiots), but of alcohol.
If it's fermented, Artos will find it. His flaring gnomish gnostrils
(yes, I said it) can sniff out hops, barley and sour mash from miles
away. Mead has met its match. Whisky has been walloped. Rum has been
rolled over, all by Artos's conquering liver.
If you haven't seen or talked to the little guy, he's a really swell
individual. I'd suggest finding him in the Mockers Tavern and tossing
back a few glasses of the local specialty, unless straight whisky's your
preference (and oh, is it mine).
For the reasons stated above, I have reputed Artos with the obvious
title of "Drunk".
Zarat the Honest
For anyone that didn't already know, I was maliciously oppressed by the
Justice named Zarat a while back. While standing at the North Square, my
senses were assaulted when the patron Melenn arrived without any pants
on. My sensitive and innocent halfling eyes were abused to such a degree
that I felt it was worthy of some legal and lawful action.
Seeing Zarat standing at the North Square as well, I began to file a
complaint. However, I soon realized that Zarat was too engrossed in the
peep-show to pay much attention to my cries of desperation. I continued
to badger and pester the Justice until finally he did respond to me - by
marking me a criminal with a WANTED flag.
To make a long story short, my outcries of "Justice brutality" and
"vulgar displays of power" were sent out immediately after. Zarat,
fearing obviously for the security of his position as a Justice, came
crawling to me, begging for mercy. As I am obviously a kind and
benevolent soul, I figured that a little leniency wouldn't hurt, so I
offered to let bygones be bygones if Zarat agreed to send a note of
apology for his obvious abuse of authoritah.
Once Zarat's shaky hand penned the scroll of his apology and had it
delivered, I revised my opinion of him. I understood how he could be
overtaken by his manly urges, especially when presented with such an
"open and free" individual as Melenn. However, that isn't to say that I
approve of it.
Regardless of my opinions on Zarat's personal vices, I had to respect
his straightforward nature in handling this matter. He didn't continue
trying to press his issue, believing himself to be right. Instead he
bowed down to my obviously superior arguments, and in turn made himself
an honest man.
For the reasons stated above, I have reputed Zarat with the obvious
title of "Honest".
Rigwarl the Ruthless
Rigwarl was given his Ruthless reputation for a number of grand reasons.
I was, and actually, still am, torn between giving him either Ruthless
or Renowned. But I figured he is actually renowned for how ruthless he
is! So, I suppose it's quite something! Although I haven't any idea what
his goals are at the moment, his past shows he stops at nothing to
accomplish them! Perhaps it's the fire giant chaos inside him that
pushes him never to stop? Or is it a certain lady or Immortal he wishes
to impress? That is just something we do not know!
He is the oldest and still strongest member of Legion still around. He
caused a slight downfall of Knights almost singlehanded!! But I think he
has quite the strong hands, so maybe one hand would be more than enough!
He battled his way up through the ranks of Legion to make himself the
Forsaken, even when Legion had the numbers, and still holds that
position to this day! Feared by nine tenths of Serin(I hope we all know
fractions), he shows his brute power and amazing leadership day in and
day out. Tactics most wouldn't dare to try, Rigwarl does amazingly well.
That is, of course, if you don't mind taking the risks that go along
with them. He doesn't fear death at all, and rather laughs at the reaper
when it shows itself... Making him, in my opinion, super, super
Oh, and he occasionally is quite the ruthless one at the poker tables
-Artos the Miniature Drunkard
Messian breaks the peace
Bindar was buying drinks in the tavern, and Messian didn't get invited.
He was obviously heartbroken, so he decided to slash his way into the
party and especially Bindar. When Thremus yelled at Messian, I came
running to hire a bouncer. Niubawn had already called one, and Artos had
blown his gold on firebreather (personally I think it's overrated).
As I walked into the tavern I saw Messian running around with tears in
his eyes. I could tell he was really hurt with the rejection. I tried to
have my bouncer offer him a tissue, but Messian just slapped it away and
said it was "his party" and that he could "cry if he wanted to". I tried
to explain that it really wasn't his party, but he just whined some
Finally my bouncer gave Messian a hug. This seemed to stop the crying.
Messian said a small "thanks" to the bouncer, and then my bouncer left.
Probably to go bathe himself from where he had touched the dwarf
Messian. Didn't you ever wonder why they called him "Messy Ann"?
If you see Messy Ann, give her - I mean, him - a pat on the back for
being such a swell person. But don't throw a party without inviting him.
It just turns into a big dramatic ordeal that really isn't worth the
How to argue in a 'civilized, no-name-calling-or-petulant-foot-stamping fashion'
I know this may not be easy for many people, especially those who are
very young, but it is a skill that is very useful to have. Fortunatly,
it is not one skill, but many all applied at once.
Imperative skill #1: Know your opponent
Does he like to yell? Scream? Stomp his foot petulantly and call you
names? Then you should speak quietly. That way they have to stop
breathing so loudly and really strain to listen to you. Does he mutter
threats to you under his breath? Try to manipulate you into doing what
he wants? Then you shouldn't talk to him face to face, try to send
notes, or avoid talking to him altogether.
Imperative skill #2: Know yourself
Recognize the things that you do to get people angry. Do you stomp on
their feet or pull their hair? Do you make funny faces at them while
they're talking? In order to stay civilized, you should try to act like
you're talking to your mother, who'll tell your father and then there'd
be a whipping in for you when he got home. Instigating anger will only
lead to raised voices, which is one step away from discussing and one
step closer to fighting.
Most Important Skill: Know who is right
Most, if not all arguements happen because someone either is wrong or
has been wronged. If you can recognize the proper outcome of the fight,
then half the time, you can admit that you were wrong and poof! no more
arguement. The rest of the time, you can either come to some sort of
Or you just walk away with you life and the knowledge that you really were right after all.
How to Make a Whiskey Pie
I don't normally find myself writing recipes or instructions on how to
prepare foods, but for some reason today I was especially motivated.
Maybe it's a sort of personal interest in the item at hand, I don't
know. In any case, here's how to make a traditional halfling favorite
(at least in my family), whiskey pie.
1 1/3 cups flour
1/2 cup butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons chilled water
2 or more gallons of whiskey (depending on taste)
To begin, combine all ingredients except the whiskey in a medium-sized
bowl, and start mixing them together. Sample some whiskey to ensure its
quality. Once the ingredients are mixed, mash them around until the
product has a smooth and uniform consistency (this will be the pie
crust). Have another sample of the whiskey to make sure it hasn't
spoiled since you started mixing ingredients.
Oncze you have soMe niCelly mixzed dough, presZs it intTo a pie panh
with youur fingers. Have somme whiszky to quennch that thirzst. mIxxxing
is hard worrk. PuuuT the pIee cruzst in tHe ovehn. Don'tt worrry aabOuth
hOw hooot it izs, youU woOon't carre if it'sz evehN cooKied. WhaaT
mattaerzh now is Teh Whiskeye!
DrIinnnck ssommeh wHiisSsckehy to mmahhkEh szsuhHreh yaouR mmoUhthH
sSstiIll waoRkZSs, THhen szsiit DoownNn iin aw coOoMfaortahhBle chaiir.
thiIsSs nExt sSstep miighT taKEh ah whilE, sao yoOoU WahhNnt too be
sSzuhhre Yaouhh haVeh ahh NniIceh, commFooRTahble arEah ToOo dRinK - iI
Meaonn, "caooK" - inn.
keep dRinkiInngh WhisSskehy wHhiile the pIe zjRuszst Dooes WhHahtEhvEhr
iiT's DoInNngh.. iin fFawct, fFOorget ahBOuhht thHeh zjRuhHsst.. IT'ss
haPPy awNd FiNnE By iItZszelf Riighht nnooW. drInnK ahhZSs mmuhhcjhh
wHiIZSsckeY awss YoOoUR BoOodY cahnNn HhoLd, aZSs quIisjkly ahhss yaou
Cahhn do iit. iif THherE ahhre aothHer pEhoPle around, DO NoOot fFehEhl
oOoBLIigaTEd Too sHawrE. tElL thEhm tOo gEhT theIir aownn pie ReciPe and
MmMahhkEh theiir oownNn dRuhHnnk, er, pIe.
fInnnD ahh saofft szsPOt Oon the FloOooor. BY tHiIss TiImMe the
cHhahhiir IisSs prOobaaBLy noT aZSs CaommffaoRtabLEh aZSs a HaaRdwOoaod
FLaoOor. doOon't ahsSsk mEh Why. REffLesjt onnn aalL ThE goOooOoD
tiimmmehZSs YOU'Veh hAd, wiTh whHiisskEy, aNd Try to FOorgEhT tHeh BaD
tImMeZSs youhh'vEh hhaad, witHOout whiisSzkeY. thhiInk ahhbouhhT hhoow
mmuchh eaassIeR YOoUR liffE wOoULd hahve bEennn UP uhnNntiil now if
youhhR parEhnntss HhahD naamed YOu "WhHiisKey".
wEhll, iIt'ZSs ahboUht tiimeh tOo get thhaat cjruhhsst. opEn tHhe
oovehnNn, ghet tHhEh zjrUsSzt oOouhHt, awnNnD ThhRoOow iIT ooUhT tHhe
neawrEhZszt windOW. nnnOow tHahT THE DiiszstrahCtiioOonNn'sSs oouhHt of
THEh WAY, get bAhsjk tO the REhahL paoRt oOof ThE rEsjiIpE - THe
wHisSzKey. fiinIiZSsHh wHhaT yOoUh HahhvEh leffT, tHeN PaZszss oUt on
tHe floooR. ennjJooy YoOouhhr breahK.
Once you sober up enough to realize just what's been going on, clean up
the huge mess you've now got in your house and kitchen. Go find that pie
plate you threw out the window and replace it (before your mother or
wife finds out). Get some water and splash it on your face, then
sprinkle flour in your hair to make it look like you've really been
slaving over a hot stove all day.
When people ask you where the pie is, tell them that it was so delicious
you just couldn't share it with anyone else. Cooking is such hard work,
5) Creative Works
Treachery by Ankaro Sajirastales
My Beautiful Gloves
I wish to tell you about my pretty white gloves that are forever stained
with the blood of giants. The story begins with me being quite bored.
With barely anyone around Serin, I set out to a different place, a hot,
exotic place, filled with various volcanos on the verge of explosion. If
you ever wonder where it is I go, when I am not around the taverns
drinking, this is where I am! Now, I have quite the amazingly, humble
abode built there. I am quite the builder too it seems.
One day, I was relaxing at my desk writing my wonderous piece about the
naked pirates, when in came a gi-normous, hugemungous fire giant, ready
to tear of my head and and use it for their soup-bowl... Now, if anyone
knows me, I was not going to let this happen! I used these 'spells' that
my guildhall teaches me to make the giant think that I was attacking him
with dragons and spectres. Wow, he is just super, super silly. He was
almost beating on himself! Now, with him weak and foolish, I took my
dagger and began stabbing him in the kneecaps! After hours he finally
fell to the ground and at that moment, I punched in his skull with my
bare hands! Blood splattered all over me, robes, coat, gloves...
Everwhere! I was able to wash it all off, with the exception of my
gloves. I feel the blood is there to warn all, that I do not lie about
my super, super strength!
And that, my friends, is how the gloves came to be...
-Artos the Miniature Drunkard
6) Cabal Affairs
-Knights: Kavion and Luminetar
-Footman: Teldorian, Yien and Zaos
-With only a few applicants and squires coming up through the ranks.
-I could have sworn I saw another dwarf running through their halls when
I was a little guy, but I could be wrong! Perhaps there are more but
they disappeared!? Or maybe they wait for a brilliant return? We will
just have to find out...
-Now, in my opinion they were doing excellent for some time now, but
have recently gone into shambles with their Executor's mysterious
disappearance. But, like I said, this is my opinion, since the lack of
Knights seems to bringing more and more evil out from the shadows.
-Immortals: Vhrael and Jeradan
-Commander: Taere the Artitrator of Order(MIA)
-Captain: Devorast(MIA) and Zarat
-Lieutenant: Grunky and Lonova
-Sergeant: Hepser, Kallia and Zeahne
-Officers: Astev and Harlen
-Recent Uninductions: Norder and Ethiladric for not recent patrols.
-This is in both mine and Zarat's opinion. With only one member around
and plenty of opposing forces the Justices have been facing some hard
times. To counter this, they have recently been doing uninductions and
inductions, in hopes of seeing more of their members around. And it has
been working. Their officers are coming along nicely, and appear to be
around quite often. They are rising in power to be the leading force in
Serin once more.
-Others in no particular order: Silisssa, Voravith, Cythlan, Mortumar,
Desavin, Moltar, Xivorn, Bindar, Jain, Ranthor.
-With the numbers growing to an amazing amount, and their recent success
with members, they have declared war on all of Serin. Pushing everyone
to purchase protection or fall to their blades and spells they move
their army forward in hopes to take over Serin once and for all...
-Artos the Miniature Drunkard, Master Scribe of Heralds