Descriptions in AR

[Xenyar]

oops little typo there. I purposefully edited it to say "There is nose on his face." I seriously can't stop laughing at it. My old lady thinks I'm crazy...

Hey what's up dude, you have nose on your face. hahahahaha

[Davairus]

I was using it to spot which guys are idiots so I haven't brought it up.

[Scrynor]

Description commendation posted to the front page! Is that new? I like!

[Davairus]

Its actually not new, but glad you liked it.

[Dogran]

I don't understand why this is so difficult. I challenge each of you to take a look at 2 different people, a man and a woman. Make a note of the first 5 things you notice about them. If you are feeling creative note 7 things. Write a description based on those facts alone. Not what they are doing, or wearing, just details. Start with the color of their eyes, the color of their hair, the shape of their eyes, nose, and lips. Decide if they are fat or muscular, look for scars, or blemishes. It shouldn't take more than 10-15 seconds of looking at someone to determine all those facts if you are looking for them. That is plenty to write a description off of. Then if you want, when you are editing it after, you can take a few minutes to make the desc more visually appealing, while not changing or overly embellishing those features.

[Ashlyn]

A foul odor wafts over from the short stocky woman standing here. Greasy
black hair is pulled back tightly from her heinous face lashed into an
untidy fat braid that falls down her back. Glaring red eyes regard the
world with hatred from above a bulbous nose upon which sits the largest
single wart in existence a single black hair dangling daringly from it. Her
dark sweat-covered skin and soil-stained clothing both look ridiculously
filthy as if both have avoided a proper cleansing for some time. Dangling
above her pendulous freckled cleavage is a shiny golden medallion embossed
with a fist with the middle finger extended. Ironically the medallion
somewhat obscures a tattoo of a moon with a comical smile. She scurries
about frantically on short stubby legs, looking around furtively for
something that must be important to her.

On a beaded bracelet around her wrist is an orange and black striped
tiger's paw.

I saw this woman in my dreams, then lived the reality. The bracelet was a bit much but was something IC after killing a hated rival.

[Dogran]

That description is well written. I would of complained internally about your statement of the largest single wart in existence, as that is an opinion, but I would have let that slide with a smile on my face. Then I would have made you change the action in your second to last sentence, otherwise, that is beautifully written. To be clear, I would have made that change happen, and then elevated this desc for creativity. I usually never elevate ones that I make someone change fyi.

[Kornhole]

how would a camera know that the eyes regarded the world with hatred?

[Ashlyn]

I'm sure you get that look sometimes. Not hard to discern.

[Kornhole]

Well, @Ashlyn. You trying to imply that I invoke hatred in others? A description of a facial configuration of features, like "scrunched nose and furrowed brows could mean" might be more in line with the rules, while still conveying the idea? Just saying, its not hard to put in whatever emotion you might want to convey, by solely describing physical attributes. Also, yes, I know a look of hatred, and I catch many, FTR. The Fire Giant I RP might just think you have to poop or you ate something not pleasant!?

[Davairus]

That example illustrates the way the camera test allows a description to be thoroughly vetted with ease. As a reader, who is more than just a camera, we can see the larger goal of a repulsive character. The middle finger medallion is amazing. However if you look at these two lines together "Glaring red eyes regard the world with hatred" and "looking around furtively for something that must be important to her" that sounds like somebody who is in a mood, looking for something they lost. That probably would go better in the background or as emotes/poses.

[Davairus]

Here is a more recent auto-response just so you know what the desc bot is commenting like.

Desc:

Fluttering with great intensity is a set of wings that is keeping this
little demon steady in the air. Atop it's head is two charcoal coloured
horns that extend upward in a crooked disorderly fashion, the tips of the
slightly smoldering.

Analysis:

it contains some unusual and unnatural language ("a set of wings that is keeping this little demon steady in the air", "the tips of the slightly smoldering"). It is possible that it was written by a human who is not a native English speaker.

[Scrynor]

It's nice that the bot can tell there might be an ESL thing going on and give a little more leeway.

I think a really big part of this entire conversation is just about a core disagreement on the purpose of a description. Dogran is right that it isn't hard to over the rules. Everybody can do that. The issue is many people don't want to. That isn't the story they want to tell. They want to express more and express it more freely as they see fit.

I actually think maybe the new feature already has this covered? What we just split the difference? Main description straight camera test, extended more freedom to do whatever? Then your intense red eyes can be in the main, and if somebody looks closer they can see they are filled with hatred. If everybody agreed on that split then it seems to me we could update the guidelines and be done with this conversation. Everybody could know main is strict appearance and extended is more story mode which might involve citizen reactions or provoked feelings or whatever.

I also think the proposed commended backgrounds could help. I think sometimes people feel they need to mash everything into a description because it's the most likely thing to be actually read. A path for a background to hit the front page might change that.