Vevier
Immortal
 
Joined: 23 Jul 2008
Posts: 1642
Location: everywhere
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 Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:32 am Post subject: Mama Vevier's Guide to Describing Yourself |
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Welcome to my guide on writing a description. Hopefully this guide will help decrease the amount of descriptions that are unacceptable for one reason or another, and also increase the quality of those which are acceptable, but not really commendable.
In this guide, I will go over the very basics of writing your description, then walk you through line by line. Hopefully it will be vague enough that it won't feel like I've written a description for everyone, but straightforward enough that it won't confuse people even more.
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THE BASICS (help desc2, paraphrased)
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*Your description should be 5 (five) COMPLETE formatted lines long.
+If you follow this guide, you will find no trouble in meeting the criteria. Even if you don't then this isn't too hard of a rule to follow. Each line gets formatted to 80 characters. 80*5 is 400. 400 characters, including spaces and punctuation. Kindergarten size writing, folks. Thank you. (Also for some reason the format function does not actually wrap to 80, rather it wraps to 75, so if you want to preformat, I would suggest doing it to there instead of 80 just cause.)
*SPELL CHECK, GRAMMAR CHECK.
+Descriptions do not autogrammar. Please use proper grammar and at least try to spell words. dictionary.com if you are not sure of the spelling. If its right, then yay, if not then it should suggest the right word.
*Don't include any actions
+ Think of a description as being what you can see about a person in 2 seconds or less.
*Be as detailed as you can.
+The rest of this guide should help with that.
*Do not use numbers in your description. If you must, type them out, though they should be used as approximations.
*Don't be generic, but still follow racial guidelines.
*Have fun writing your character.
+Anyone who actually reads your description will use that as a way of starting off rp with you.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
The easiest method is to use the description commands.
Here is an excerpt from zmud on how to do it:
| Code: |
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + This is how I look in really awesome detail.
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + Hey, I look good!
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
Hey, I look good!
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + Uh oh, a line with a error.
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
Hey, I look good!
Uh oh, a line with a error.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc -
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
Hey, I look good!
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + Whoo, fixed the error.
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
Hey, I look good!
Whoo, fixed the error.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + Hey I have a tattoo, that's pretty awesome.
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail.
This is some more of how I look in some even better detail go me.
Hey, I look good!
Whoo, fixed the error.
Hey I have a tattoo, that's pretty awesome.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc format
Description formatted.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail. This is some more of how I
look in some even better detail go me. Hey, I look good! Whoo, fixed the
error. Hey I have a tattoo, that's pretty awesome.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc + Not quite long enough, but I'm not keeping it anyway
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail. This is some more of how I
look in some even better detail go me. Hey, I look good! Whoo, fixed the
error. Hey I have a tattoo, that's pretty awesome.
Not quite long enough, but I'm not keeping it anyway
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc format
Description formatted.
<25/100%hp 130/100%m 100/100%mv>desc
Your description is:
This is how I look in really awesome detail. This is some more of how I
look in some even better detail go me. Hey, I look good! Whoo, fixed the
error. Hey I have a tattoo, that's pretty awesome. Not quite long enough,
but I'm not keeping it anyway
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Except obviously write your own description in there. The other option is to use the editor. Open it with desc format. I am not going to go into how to use it here, since I plan on writing a guide for that at some point too.
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HOW DO YOU DO IT WELL?
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This is what I really wanted to write this guide for. Follow this guide if you want direction on how to write your description.
LINE 1: State the most striking features about your character.
Usually the most striking feature about a character is their race, gender and one other major detail.
Example:
(line 1) Before you stands a lumbering giant woman with puffy purple cheeks.
(line 1)Two eyes peer put from behind the big puffy beard of the gnomish man in front of you.
If someone doesn't really care about what you look like, this line is usually about all they will read, so try to make it a good one.
LINE 2: Something still important, but not the most important.
This is still something that you should notice in the first second that you are looking at your character.
Example: (line 1) There is a short, slender woman standing before you, peering out from behind kinks of red hair. (line 2) The skin of her face and arms has a strange tint to, reflecting green where the sun hits it.
(line 1) Tentacles. Lots of tentacles. All over the slimy creature before you. (line 2) In between the creepy crawly appendages, a spattering mouth emerges, dripping drool everywhere.
I always like to imply the race if I can, otherwise it should be stated in the first few sentences, as in the two examples in line 1. In these examples we can presume that the woman is a half elf or a human ranger, more likely the former. There is no question that the second character is an illithid.
Try to use adjectives that invoke an emotion without stating the emotion. All of the adjectives I used to describe the illithid were unfavorable and calling his tentacles appendages makes them seem odd and unwelcome. It creates a feeling of distaste without typing out. 'He creeps you out and you don't want to go closer to him.'
LINES 3 & 4
In your first four lines, you want to cover all of the basics. Gender, race (either stated or implied), hair color, eye color, approximate height, body type. Many of these do not need to be stated explicitly, but they should be at least implied. Use this line to finish up the last few details that you've missed. Consider this line as second number 2 that someone spends looking at you.
Example:
(line 1) Taller than three average men, this half bull half man creature looms above the tops of the trees. (line 2) An oddly human mouth sits beneath a nose which is squished up against his face so much that it looks very piglike. (line 3) Veins are popping out of his arms, which seem so swelled with muscle that they will not bend enough for him to touch his shoulder. Skin which might have been a dusty brown color shines more rustic with the heat of the blood so close to the surface.
(line 1) Blond hair flies out behind this elf, unrestrained save for a pair of braids originating above his ears and disappearing into the rest of his mane. (line 2) His eyes are amber and are actually glowing with the power inside of him, darkening and lightening with his mood. (line 3) Uncalloused hands hold his weapon inexpertly and tightly, as if he is not used to carrying such heavy metal.
Do not mix up line with sentence. It may take more than one sentence to get your point across here.
Also be careful of your wording. You do not want to have any actions, but you do not want your description to be passive either. Things such as veins popping out of the skin cause there is so much goddamn muscle there is acceptable, because its a state of being that he's not likely to lose. 'His veins pop out of his muscled arms as he flexes them threateningly' is less acceptable. You want verbs, but you want them to apply to characteristics of your character, not the character himself.
LINE 4
Use this line to describe any traits that a person might see as they look more closely at you. This should be one of the very last things that someone would notice, say second 2.5. I like to use this to describe small trinkets that your character wears or what type of clothes they wear under or over their armor. REMEMBER: DO NOT INCLUDE ITEMS WHICH HAVE AN EQUIPMENT SLOT. That means no weapons, no actual armor. Rings and neck items are alright since you really aren't limited to two. Earrings as well. Even clothes are a little iffy cause you do have a leg slot, but I have learned to let those slide.
Example:
(line 1) Before you stands a lumbering giant woman with puffy purple cheeks. (line 2) Splotches cover most of her bloated skin, giving her the semblance of an eggplant. (line 3) Contrasting sharply with the hue of her skin, sky blue eyes shine out from beneath a double layer of lashes. (line 4) Making deep crevices in her fingers are a pair of rings with no stone and no design save for zig zag pattern of the band.
(line 1)Two eyes peer put from behind the big puffy beard of the gnomish man in front of you. (line 2) Aside from those brown orbs, all you can see of his body are his feet and his arms past his elbows. (line 3) Though no taller than a human toddler, he darts around, nimbly avoiding some of the larger ditches in the road. (line 4) Braided into the beard at intervals, you can see small items, such as the feather of a bird and a tiny set of ribs, small enough to belong to a squirrel or weasel.
I know, they are the same line 1s from a previous example, but I don't want to use all my juices here and not be able to describe my own characters.
It is acceptable to mention how certain items that you wear fit you. For example if you want to say that your hair flies out from under your helmet, making it fit tightly, that is fine. How well taken care of the armor is would also be acceptable. (His armor is rusting to pieces around him, or her armor gleams blindingly bright)
LINE 5
Use this line for final impressions, or things which do describe your character, but may not be noticed in the first few moments. Such things would include your voice, your way of walking, but should not include impressions or observations. (She is confident, she is shy) Try to get the implication across without actually saying anything.
Example:
(line 1) Brilliant green eyes shine out from this human woman's perfectly angled face. (line 2) Her hair curls down over her shoulders, spilling down nearly to her waist. (line 3) Long legs slide down from her trim torso, giving her the illusion of height which she is not worthy of. (line 4) Many beads adorn her body-wrists, ankles, neck, ear. Despite being many in number, all the decorations are subtle enough to simply enhance her natural beauty. (line 5) When she speaks, her voice slides out of her mouth like taffy, sweet and alluring. The natural grace with which she moves implies that there is something more behind her human appearance.
Sorry you are only getting one complete description out of me. I like to put a lot of these last sentences as conditional or passive. "when she moves, when she talks" but that is just a preference.
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LAST SUGGESTIONS
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*DO NOT COPY THESE DESCRIPTIONS. I WROTE THEM. I WILL REMEMBER THEM.
*Please do not think that this is the only way to write a description. If you have an idea for what you want to do, go ahead and do it. If it's something neat, then you might get away with it.
*Use your description as a means to create or extend what ideas you have for your characters rp/background. I once had a character who worked as a cook, so her fingers were scarred from grating potatoes.
*Do not use your name in your description. It is supposed to see what someone sees, and they cannot see your name. Another preference.
*If it is too long then people may not read it. Try to make it so that with the extra line and the prompt line and all your equipment, the description does not go too far past the top of the screen, otherwise people won't care to scroll back.
*more to come as I think of them. Feedback and other suggestions welcome. I will update as I feel the need. |
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