View previous topic :: View next topic |
Do you read player's descriptions? |
Yes |
|
72% |
[ 29 ] |
Desc? What's that? |
|
27% |
[ 11 ] |
|
Total Votes : 40 |
|
Author |
Message |
Xonovik
Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 72 Location: MinneFreakinSota
|
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:36 pm Post subject: Descriptions |
|
|
Aside from the Imms and probably cabal leaders... does anyone read other players descriptions?(By reading, I mean the whole desc, not just one line of it or parts of it..)
I only ask mainly because with anyone I look at, I go straight to the equipment. Normally, if I was bored, I'd probably take a peek at the desc.
I'm not suggesting anything with this poll, I just want to know who's like me? Honestly, I don't remember what my description says most of the time. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Quiet Wanderer
Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 547 Location: Western Michigan
|
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I usually do. 'Course nowadays no one bothers to make any good ones, so I've slipped off. But all and all I normally read the descs of people. If they're worth knowing in game, their desc is normally good quality. Thats my opinion though. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Mental Patient-101
Joined: 23 Jan 2004 Posts: 133 Location: Old folks home...
|
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I used to alot, but now I just skim a few if i want a vague ideal of what they look like... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Avendin
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 400
|
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2004 11:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I always read through, and if they're someone I encounter often (like IC friends or cabal-mates) it usually sticks with me. I enjoy reading a well-written description, especially if it helps me with RP interaction (though I despise seeing character history in descs unless worked in seamlessly and even then it irks me some). |
|
Back to top |
|
|
marsd
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 832 Location: Magewares
|
Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 10:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
I used to stop around and scrollback to the buffer to read some descriptions. But after quite many badly written descriptions that are obviously 1min-done-job at lvl 14, just 100tnl to 15 kinda, i just gave up on reading them. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Seryie
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 574 Location: Australia, Adelaide
|
Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 2:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
i'll read any of over 35, but still some of disgusting quality..,. people usually have a shitty quick one they write at 14, and change it later. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Spalino
Joined: 23 Jan 2004 Posts: 61
|
Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2004 1:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
I only read level 50's. When I got to 50 I totally revised my desc to make it better. People need better descs imms should be harder on em I think |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Shroud
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 8
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 4:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
I personally read all desc that I have time to, mainly groupmates while sleeping, or people who rp real well. I like reading herald descriptions mostly! Though there is one desc that sticks in my mind the most, some two years ago when I first started ar, a ninja starting with SWOOSH something passes before you eyes, or something like that. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Unknown Criminal
Joined: 10 Mar 2004 Posts: 46
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
Ill read anyone desc who is in my group, if im just standing around reading descriptions ill get killed, no point in making it easy for people;) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Vertas
Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 1179 Location: Ewa Beach, HI
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
Let me know if this is any good... Let me know if there are any errors, or something that should be changed. (the hardest thing in the world to roleplay is an opposite gender, everyone keeps hitting on me and I don't know how to respond because you know the whole straight thing keeps me from doing it back, only I'm not entirely sure that's what my char would do...)
Before you stands a young human woman, she seems to have seen no more than seventeen winters. Her eyes are large black and seductive seeming to promise eternity itself. They look vainly around as if to say is any of this good enough for me? Her hair is long and black, and tied back to keep her bangs out of her eyes. She looks fair enough with her pale complexion, but an aura of pure evil hangs around her and a maniacal laugh seems to ring about the air around her. She gazes around with hatred and malcontent written all over her face. Her voice is dark and musical, and full of lust. Unseen strange symbols are tattooed onto her back and forearms strange runes from a distant past, or a more distant future. She looks as if she weighs about 120 pounds and stands at a pathetic five hands. She wears a long hooded cloak with the hood down so that all can see her face. She has an odd array of weapons hidden all over her body including one in her boot, in her sleeves and a mysterious tattoo shaped like a dagger on one of her calves. When she walks it is like waves breaking across the beach and she seems to get many sneaked looks as she glides past. She looks like she makes a great effort into putting her appearance right, though what this would be for is unknown. Her leather jerkin is spotless except for a small spot of blood just above her collar. She smells like jasmine and honey suckle and beneath that there is a stink out of corruption underneath it all. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Avendin
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 400
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:58 am Post subject: |
|
|
Grammar Nazi Mode ON
Vertas wrote: |
Before you stands a young human woman, she seems to have seen no more than seventeen winters. |
Run-on sentence.
Before you stands a young human woman who seems to have seen no more than seventeen winters.
Vertas wrote: |
Her eyes are large black and seductive seeming to promise eternity itself. |
Punctuation is your friend.
Her eyes are large, black and seductive, seeming to promise eternity itself.
Vertas wrote: |
They look vainly around as if to say is any of this good enough for me? |
Awkward construction.
They look vainly around as if to wonder whether any of this good enough for her?
Vertas wrote: |
Her hair is long and black, and tied back to keep her bangs out of her eyes. She looks fair enough with her pale complexion, but an aura of pure evil hangs around her and a maniacal laugh seems to ring about the air around her. She gazes around with hatred and malcontent written all over her face. Her voice is dark and musical, and full of lust. Unseen strange symbols are tattooed onto her back and forearms strange runes from a distant past, or a more distant future. |
Some minor fixes. I like this bit especially.
Her hair is long and black, tied back to keep her bangs out of her eyes. She looks fair enough with her pale complexion, but an aura of pure evil hangs around her and a maniacal laugh seems to ring about the air around her. She gazes around with hatred and malcontent written all over her face. Her voice is dark and musical, and full of lust. Unseen strange symbols are tattooed onto her back and forearms strange runes from a distant past, or a more distant future.
Vertas wrote: |
She looks as if she weighs about 120 pounds and stands at a pathetic five hands. |
Five hands = 20 inches = 1 ft. 8 inches. Only gnomes are this short (and possibly stunted halflings) and both of those are neutral races whereas your description says she is evil. 20 hands = 5 feet if this is what you're going for (since she's about 120 lbs).
She looks as if she weighs about 120 pounds and stands at a pathetic twenty hands.
Vertas wrote: |
She wears a long hooded cloak with the hood down so that all can see her face. She has an odd array of weapons hidden all over her body including one in her boot, in her sleeves and a mysterious tattoo shaped like a dagger on one of her calves. When she walks it is like waves breaking across the beach and she seems to get many sneaked looks as she glides past. |
More good stuff.
Vertas wrote: |
She looks like she makes a great effort into putting her appearance right, though what this would be for is unknown. |
A little awkward.
She looks like she makes a great effort into putting her appearance right, though the reason is unknown.
Vertas wrote: |
Her leather jerkin is spotless except for a small spot of blood just above her collar. She smells like jasmine and honey suckle and beneath that there is a stink out of corruption underneath it all. |
Some more minor fixes.
Her leather jerkin is spotless except for a small spot of blood just above her collar. She smells like jasmine and honeysuckle, yet beneath that there is a stink out of corruption underneath it all.
Grammar Nazi Mode OFF
Nice description. It provides a good mental image of the character which is the ultimate goal of any description.
If you accept all my changes, the revised version looks like this:
Before you stands a young human woman who seems to have seen no more than seventeen winters. Her eyes are large, black and seductive, seeming to promise eternity itself. They look vainly around as if to wonder whether any of this good enough for her? Her hair is long and black, tied back to keep her bangs out of her eyes. She looks fair enough with her pale complexion, but an aura of pure evil hangs around her and a maniacal laugh seems to ring about the air around her. She gazes around with hatred and malcontent written all over her face. Her voice is dark and musical, and full of lust. Unseen strange symbols are tattooed onto her back and forearms strange runes from a distant past, or a more distant future. She looks as if she weighs about 120 pounds and stands at a pathetic twenty hands. She wears a long hooded cloak with the hood down so that all can see her face. She has an odd array of weapons hidden all over her body including one in her boot, in her sleeves and a mysterious tattoo shaped like a dagger on one of her calves. When she walks it is like waves breaking across a beach, and she seems to get many sneaked looks as she glides past. She looks like she makes a great effort into putting her appearance right, though the reason is unknown. Her leather jerkin is spotless except for a small spot of blood just above her collar. She smells like jasmine and honeysuckle, yet beneath that there is a stink out of corruption underneath it all. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Stephen2
Joined: 18 Jan 2004 Posts: 138
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 6:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
I'm a picky bastard, and my descs suck but, you asked for it?
"Before you stands" <-- Showing action. Will she always be standing?
"young human woman" <-- Human with a capital.
"Her eyes are large black and seductive seeming to promise eternity itself." <-- comma before 'large', fullstop or ';' before 'seeming'. How do one's eyes promise eternity itself? Poetic, but doesn't mean anything.
"They look vainly around" <-- 'vainly' as in, she's vain? Or her eyes are looking around without finding what they're after?
"as if to say is any of this good enough for me?" <-- Don't convey meaning, leave it up to other characters to decide what it means when you're looking around vainly. Again, it's an action. Her eyes aren't ALWAYS looking around vainly.
"Her hair is long and black, and tied back to keep her bangs out of her eyes." <-- replace 'long and black,' with 'long, black'. IE Remove comma replace 'and' with comma.
"an aura of pure evil hangs around her and a maniacal laugh seems to ring about the air around her." <-- Jeez, she's evil. I'd tone this down a bit (read: a lot). It just sounds cheesy.
"She gazes around with hatred and malcontent written all over her face." <-- More action?? And this time she's not gazing vainly, she's gazing with hatred. This girl's pissed off.
"Her voice is dark and musical, and full of lust." <-- I like this line, but can you hear her voice by looking at her?? Replace the 'and' in 'dark and musical' with a comma. Remove the 'and' after the comma. 'Her voice is dark, musical and full of lust.'
"Unseen strange symbols are tattooed onto her back and forearms" <-- They're unseen, but you can see them? Bizzzare. I would venture you couldn't see them, when she's fully armoured up, what do you think?
"... and forearms strange runes from a distant past, or a more distant future." <-- First, a fullstop between 'forearms' and 'strange' would be nice. Plus, it's poetic again, past and future, but they're just tattoos.. She probly got 'em yesterday at the local parlour.
"She looks as if she weighs about 120 pounds and stands at a pathetic five hands." <-- Nice weight, pity that "1 hands = 0.333333333 feet". So she's 1.6 feet tall.. Now she's sounding like a fat midget. Maybe five feet tall?
"She has an odd array of weapons hidden all over her body" <-- If they're hidden, how can we see 'em? This isn't that bad, but maybe they shouldn't be 'hidden' all over her body, 'placed', 'located' whatever..
"and a mysterious tattoo shaped like a dagger on one of her calves." <-- That should maybe be in the mysterious tattoo section, not in the weapon section. Unless it's a REAL dagger pretending to be a tattoo...
"When she walks it is like waves breaking across the beach and she seems to get many sneaked looks as she glides past." <-- Haha, she's a SEXY fat 1.6 foot midget, again there's lots of actions going on here. Usually a no no.
"She looks like she makes a great effort into putting her appearance right" <-- She sounds good looking for a midget, but that maniacal laughter puts me right off...
"Her leather jerkin is spotless except for a small spot of blood just above her collar." <-- Lots of AR's imms say not to describe your clothes, because REALLY you're wearing red dragon or worn or whatever, but I like describing clothes. This is a good line:)
"She smells like jasmine and honey suckle and beneath that there is a stink out of corruption underneath it all." <-- The words 'beneath' and 'underneath' mean the same thing, pick one and remove the other. 'out of corruption'. Remove the word 'out'. Maybe remove the word 'that', to make it flow a bit more.. 'She smells like jasmine and honey suckle, yet beneath is the stink of corruption.'
QED. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Avendin
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 400
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 8:59 am Post subject: |
|
|
Stephen.. did you just repeat everything I said or were there any differences? I didn't bother to check... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Sebryn
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 1185
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 2:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm curious about the "seen no more than seventeen winters" bit. Obviously you're trying to show your character's age, but unless she has some phylactery or other means to hide or alter her age she won't always look so hot.
I am by no means saying that I'm the master of descriptions; hell, I'll fully admit that Sebryn's description pretty well sucks and needs some major reconstruction. That said however, I personally don't think it's a good idea to reference age characteristics in your description.
Unless you're playing "hardcore"... then you'll probably look exactly the way your description says you do, for all of a few days anyway. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
sweet_canadian_mullet
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 418
|
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 4:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
A char of mine back in the day had a cut on his arm for every year he had been alive. And those cuts never healed. I thought that was kew. But to my real oppinion. vertas...lay off the chicks. Make a dude and stick with that. Holy gad. Males playin females never work. It is very obvious who the males are and who the females are. Actualy the two chics I know real life both play males cuz they are tired of all the dudes tryin to hook up. Halarious. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Davairus Implementor
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 10368 Location: 0x0000
|
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 1:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
Kind of hard to read desc when it gets scrolled off by a set of red dragon, opals, etc. I have considered adding a 'glance' command that just looks at a players desc. There was some good reason why I didn't do that though. Probably because then if anyone looked at you, you'd know its just to see your eq. (As opposed to just being 90% sure it was that.)
25% of forum-reading players not looking at descs at all is pretty disgusting I might add. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
marsd
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 832 Location: Magewares
|
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 2:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
yea so it's time to make it a point for players at lvl 20 to make a proper good desc, fuk desc scribbling at 15 and make a real original one at 20. Hell, I just make one real good one for every different race/class I play, then when I replay the same race/class i use it back, edit a bit, and it still looks good. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Seryie
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 574 Location: Australia, Adelaide
|
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 3:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
people reuse lots of descriptions, and i'll admit i do it too.. i think it should stop really haha.... but |
|
Back to top |
|
|
marsd
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 832 Location: Magewares
|
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
but sane people reuse a good properly done description. But i hate those scribbled ones, written directly to desc editor. LIke: Here stands a 5' 6" blah blah. (new line) He is very strong. (new line) He carries a huge backpack that is fulled to the brim. (blah blah blah), and some lots of mistakes in punctuation etc and sentence forming.
I mean, wtf? Why reuse it! I've actually seen someone's lvl 15 or so minotaur's desription that was done that way, used on another lowbie mino! wtf? |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Seryie
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 574 Location: Australia, Adelaide
|
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
nysquits was reused into sosolitos, i remember ranking with nysquit, i think he got denied for afk scripting? dunno really.. but then i see sosolito with the same, page long desc |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|