A very large-ass man-bird stands before you with a shock of brown-feathered wings. He is about 5 cheeseburgers on the wrong side of fat and his stomach shows it. He wheezes heavily as he flies about and it seems that his girth causes him to land occasionally. You cannot really see his face because is absolutely filthy with mud caked on his cheeks and all over his body. Only his cool gray eyes give you a steely stare from his dirt-covered face.