[ 14]: <SCHOLAR> Serra: The tide calls me home Wed Apr 28 02:02:02 2021 To: Lumubella My love,
I have traveled these lands for so many years alone and never felt strangely about it. But somehow, on this last trip, I feel unmoored. I cannot face you to say farewell.
I have finished my offering to my Lord, made my peace with Ilromie. I have told Wylsin of what afflicts me, that perhaps in the future it may inspire him to aid another with my weakness. I have asked Ocelia to dream large and spread her wings. But there are so many who have touched my heart that I will never be able to say farewell to.
Have I found fulfillment, here, in Serin? I could not have asked for more. From a desolate childhood I found a rich ecosystem of friends and colleagues who have inspired me endlessly. I have filled my life with adventure. I have met the most fearsome in the land, the cleverest, the wisest, the kindest, the most courageous, and the most beautiful. I have learned oh so many things across every pillar of knowledge.
You asked me if I leave Serin with any regrets. I have two regrets. One is that I will never see it achieve true peace. The other is that I cannot fully express how I feel, for I was never shown how to love. I can only hope that you know how much you have meant to me.
My deepest desire is that I have left but a small imprint behind as I walk into this Barren Wilderness. The snow already covers my tracks as I walk here, and while the ice cracks beneath my feet these too will soon freeze [Hit Return to continue]
over once again. I do not wish to leave an everlasting trace, for I am merely a mortal, a simple giant, a conduit for my Lord and for Serin. But I hope that there will be young who follow me, and find themselves looking to he waters for guidance, and feel the same joy and exhilaration at the wonders of Serin as I did, once upon a time.
Yours,
Serra
From: [KNIGHT] Lumubella To: Serra Subject: A tear stained missive Content: --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Dearest Serra,
Having lived your life fearless, vibrant, and free I find it only fitting that you feel no trepidation and instead a release as you move forward with your final journey. I hope you have properly bundled up and warm as you take it. I feel relief that you have found fulfillment in a life so well lived, in the bonds you have shared and in the experiences that you not only lived, but documented so fervently. Not only did you learn many things but also did you recognize the importance in the dissemination of that knowledge in the teaching to others. I can find no finer example from the past nor in the here and now of what a scholar should be.
I had selfishly hoped to keep you with me even the tiniest bit longer as we spoke a tear-filled farewell. Though I cannot understand why you did not give me that I cannot help but to feel shame that I could not find the gumption myself to say the words myself having known for some time what was to come. I will not seek forgiveness nor will I offer it as that is not our way is it? We never had anything to forgive as how could one betray ones own heart? Instead of forgivness or apology what we had was the most sublime form of respect for each other that only needed recognition through thanks.
So... I will say it now. Thank you. Thank you for confessing your feelings to me and allowing me to realize those that I had held hidden within myself, as alike as the deep currents under the sea that we watched as we treasured each others company. Thank you for being my one and only mentor. Thank you for the love between us, a love that could best be described as a perfect seal. Thank you for giving me the homeless a home, not only in your heart but also welcoming into your home and making a place to be mine alone. Nothing could provide me more simple a joy than to awaken to your well thought out gifts and letters. I will not apologize for not properly expressing my gratitude for the efforts you made to bring me comfort as it is not our way, but I hold out hope that you understood it and my feelings reached you. You even went so far as to leave me a painting to remember you by.
When we last took time together and reflected on lifes foibles, I spoke of love's sly paradox, in making you whole it cuts you in half. There is a bitter truth to that, in coming to know the reality of love you come change in a permenant way and can never turn back. The parallels between this fact and the journey that is one's life has granted me the wisdom to find a certain repose in it. A comfort in the love that has been and shall always be a part of us even beyond this journey. I do not think I shall find that same love with another, ever. In spite of this I have found my calm center. Far afield it has been from that night in which I vented upon you a fury of anger and shame, stemming from my secret fear that I shared then with you. I still have not shared it with any other, and do not know if I will find the courage to do so in this life. However, I am determined to overcome it one way or another. It is this one thing that keeps me moored here while you journey onto unknown places.
I've always piled words and words on top of problems and quandarys until they collapsed from the sheer weight of the words. I hope this letter reaches you on your journey and will believe it does, bringing some small comfort to my overflowing heart. Hope, the grandest expression of the possibilities that luck can bring us. That you have regrets is a natural thing. Life is a mutable and transient thing, our choices forever putting us down one path or another and leaving behind the ones we could have taken. Do not let them trouble you and I will not let mine trouble me overmuch. I will not say farewell for our love has tethered our souls together with the finest lashings of spirit, and though you go ahead of me, one day I will take that journey myself and find you.
